Get ready for a seriously LONG post:

January 10, 2004

I feel happy and a bit sad today.

Happy because my friend was successful in finding work (CONGRATZ ANA-NECHAN!!!); and sad because this news made me realize that those days when all of us stayed at the dorm are well and truly over.

Life is different now. The days we spent at the dorm now seem like a dream. They were wonderful days… But they’re done.

And we will never be as young as we were then.

My friends and I have all taken different paths. And however much I wish to be with them, my path is different from theirs.

I guess all I’m really trying to say with this post is that I miss you guys. Heheh, mushy ko lately no? Ewan ba! Haaaayyyy… Wala lang ^^0

***
January 12, 2004

“Life is a House” Watched this movie last night when I was trying to make heads and tails of what the hell is happening with Genrou III. Gen-chan’s obviously functioning well enough now. There are still a few bugs to get rid off, but he’s functioning well enough for me to type this. Lost a few picture files, good thing I’ve most of my files backed up by this time so the loss wasn’t as devastating as it would have been if ever… anyway, about the movie.

I decided not to change channels when I saw Hayden Christensen’s (sp?) name in the credits; got curious what his role would be since I have only seen him as Anikin Skywalker in Star Wars Episode 2. His role’s name was Sam. Sam was a dysfunctional 16 year-old junky. He came from a broken family. His dad demanded that he accompany him during the whole of summer to build a house near the sea. Sam’s dad had cancer, and the guy knew that he was about to die. He wanted to build the house so that he can leave it for Sam, his son.

I remember Sam’s father saying near the end of the film that life is like a house. And I guess he is right. Like a house, we are forced to live in our own lives. We build our lives up, alone or with other people. We collect memories like trinkets or old photos that we can dig up and show people whenever the occasion arises. We can invite people into our lives or slam the door on their faces.

Life is a house. Life is a lot of things besides being like a house though.

I’ve noticed that life had been compared to a lot of things, and yet nothing can encompass or try to symbolize the entirety of life. Maybe simply because there is nothing comparable to it.

Life has no opposite. Some say that Death is life’s opposite, but whoever it was that said that birth is the opposite of death and not life, whoever said that I would have to agree with.

***
January 14, 2004
There are two things I really really hate in this world. Waiting with nothing to do and being alone with nothing to do. Okay, make that three things coz I hate having nothing to do. This is the reason why I bring books with me anywhere and everywhere. Even inside dark movie theaters.

Anyway, just today, I was forced in a situation where I had to tolerate all three: waiting, being alone, and having absolutely nothing to do. It was pure hell. The world just felt so heavy, like everything – every sound, every movement, every vision – was pressing down on me.

I was at school during this time, and what I did was wait out the time inside the school chapel since it was the nearest building to where I was standing and the only one that had empty chairs I could sit on. Here I was feeling absolutely down, almost teary-eyed thinking that I was alone in the world when I suddenly realized that I was looking at the altar, particularly at a statue of an angel.

Then it hit me – like a whisper out of nowhere – that maybe I am not as alone as I thought. I suddenly felt this overwhelming sense of warmth envelop me. Like when my mom hugs me. Like when I am in the company of my friends. Everything then became light, and the heaviness was just gone. I still felt teary-eyed, but for an entirely different reason. So what I did was just quietly sit there. I continued to stare at the angel and the rest of the altar feeling the most wonderful sense of peace. I did not pray since my mind was a blank, but I think I remember saying thank you before I left.

***
Still here, huh? Wow, tiyaga! Just some messages left:

ANA: Like I said above, CONGRATULATIONS!!! ^____^ Goodluck sa training. I know you’ll pass the training week with flying colors! Ikaw pa?! ^^

SEIKA: Am happy you’re happy, even if it’s just about having the Sim cds ^^ We all deserve happiness. And yes, I am suffering through a melancholy/nostalgic/mushy mood. Bear with me, heheh ^^0 Goodluck sa pagbuild sa mga Sim houses ng illu cast, can’t wait to see them. Take lotsa pix of these houses, ne? Tsaka mo send sa ml, either sa dokoni (w/c is still active btw) or sa illucorp.

SAINT: Ala na ba talaga Ragnaddiction mo? Ah well, welcome to the club. One thing I can say about not being addicted to RO anymore is that mas marami-rami akong pera ngayon hahahah!!! Haba rin nung newest post mo sa blog, ok lang yan kasi tagal ka rin naman di nagpost e.

AMEREI: Thanks for dropping by again, Rain-chan! Musta na RO2 website pala? Haven’t been active sa RO2 lately coz biglaang seryosong puno ang sched ko kaya di ni hindi ako makapunta sa mga meetings. Gomen ne…

GUIDO: KUYA!!! I dunno if you still read my blog pero anyways, hello lang hahahha!!! Nauubusan na ako ng itatype. Musta na ang website mo?

KURL: Wala akong kultong mapapagsalihan sayo heheh ^^ Thanks sa text. Sensya na di ako makatext back nun, ala ako load nun.

Okay that’s it. Thinking of posting here every weekend na lang para tipid sa net time. Ja ne, minna. Text nyo na lang me kung may kailangan kayo ^^