January 9, 2004
Watched LotR Return of the King. I already knew the story from reading the novels way before the rumors of there being movies made about these books came out. I found watching immensely more satisfying than reading those three novels; mainly because the screenplay writers took out the parts that I considered extremely boring.

What made me think after watching this last installment of the trilogy is how people view the places they call home.

The hobbits in LotR were forced to travel away from the Shire. They cannot go back to their home for fear that their continued presence there would destroy it. As their adventures went on, the Shire, their home became a dream. A place their hearts continually wanted to go back to. It became a beacon of hope; that if they survive and lived on for another day, a day will eventually come that they would be able to find their way back to the Shire.

When I leave home, I don’t always feel like that. For example was when I went to study in Manila. Like the four hobbits, I had to leave home. In my case, to learn.

But unlike them, I felt a sense of freedom when I finally went. I didn’t feel homesick. I hated being cooped up in one place, doing the same things day in and day out. I felt the need to leave; to have something change, even just the scenery. I felt sweet freedom when I finally got out.

And yet there came a time, while I was still in Manila, that I yearned to go back. A yearning so strong that I finally felt the homesickness that I did not initially feel during those first few months. Returning home, I felt safe, comfortable. Being home was a freedom to be what and who I am with no criticism from anyone; where what and who I am was accepted. It is a haven. Paradise even.

What a complete turnabout of thought that was.

And yet, my being gone from home changed it. Being away from a place for a long time, then finally coming back changes one’s view of said place. I saw my home as smaller, too peaceful. It was, and is still continually, a haven for me, yes. But even though I stay here once again, I know that a day will come that I will need to go again and leave home. Maybe for good. Maybe not. Maybe by that time I would have found a new place to call home.

***
January 10, 2004
Today is my parent’s silver anniversary… and I didn’t even have a clue that it was! I thought their silver anniv is still next year. Ah well, my bad. Mom isn’t big on celebrations so we’ll just go to mass and give thanks. That and cook spag or pancit. Which ever is available, I guess ^^0 Like I said, mom’s not big on celebrations. She said she grew up that way. My maternal grandparents never made a big deal of celebrating their children’s birthdays so my mom got that from them too. I guess I kinda got it too from my mom.