Awareness through a song

Music: Evergreen (remix) by Hyde
Wearing: long t-shirt and white shorts
Activity (aside from blogging): writing thesis and wasting electricity by keeping the TV on eventhough I haven't been paying any sort of attention to it since two hours ago...

I'm obsessed with memorizing Ilaria Graziano's I Do (from Ghost in the Shell Stand Alone Complex). I just love the melody, and like most of Yohko Kanno's songs, even when I understand ziltch zero nada and none of the lyrics I still love the lyrics for the way they sound.

I've put the song on repeat and have been listening to it since this afternoon so if you're wondering why I mentioned Hyde's song up there it's coz I kinda got fed up with I Do for the time being and just put the player on random. Okay, by now it's playing Maaya Sakamoto's Mameshiba, from Earth Girl Arjuna, I think.

What's with the song mentions? Just that while downloading some of Shimokawa Mikuni's songs a few minutes ago, I realized that she's the one who sang a lot of old anime OP/ED favorites and that though I didn't know it was her singing, I apparently liked her voice and songs enough that I actually have acquired a bit of a collection of them throughout the years without realizing it. Same with Maaya Sakamoto and BoA, but then at least I knew who were singing their songs when I got my copy of them *sigh*

What bothers me about this is that I guess I let things creep up on me without me noticing them. Like I do things unconsciously for a very long time, then it feels as though a light gets flicked on coz I suddenly realize exactly what I'm doing and why.

Am I making sense? I doubt it.

Anyways, it's not just things or songs... what troubles me is that I let people do this to me too. Sometimes it's okay, like when I realize that I consider a certain person whom I only thought of as an acquaintance is an actual friend... but there's also a negative side to this.

I guess all I'm trying to say is that I wish I was more aware of things. I tend to disregard somethings that I shouldn't, block out people I mustn't... and I do it unconsciously for a very long time.

I really should stop.