haaaay... so tired... -_-

I just need to write this down somewhere. I realize I'm kinda impinging on my uncle's privacy but I'm not writing down any specifics about his identity anyway.

September 7: Found Tito Toto on the floor of Paul's room. He was groggy and lethargic, but (thank God!) conscious. He couldn't move his right hand and foot. He couldn't talk. We rushed him to a hospital in San Fernando. Turns out he got CVD... or at least that's what his chart said. Anyways, he had a mild stroke. A blood vessel bled out on the left side of his brain so his right side is paralyzed. He had to stay overnight in the ICU for observation. Good thing his stroke wasn't the progressive type. He didn't need surgery and his neurosurgeon suggested that they just use meds to remove the bleeding and prevent edema and increased ICP. It worked. His vital signs remained stable so his doctors felt confident enough to discharge him from the hospital a week later.

The hospital therapist suggested we get a personal PT for him so Tita Pes did. The PT comes 3x/week for his rehab. He gets to walk using a cane now, but still with assistance. He still needs help getting up from bed, standing, sitting, doing his ADLs... he's quite lazy about moving around and prefers to sleep 3/4ths of the day away. Add that immobility to his decreased intake of liquids equals constipation, despite the lactulose and foods we prepare to prevent that. It's really troubling coz we all don't want him to strain to avoid increased ICP but the way it is now doing so is kinda unavoidable. So far we can still use laxatives but we all don't want to get him used to using them.

Mom and I usually sleep over to help watch over Tito. Binky and I take shifts, but we're both usually there during the days to help out. Tito's incontinent. He feels pained when he micturates. It doesn't look like UTI, and since a foley catheter was put on him then it could be a side effect of that, but it's worrisome that it's been more than two weeks since they removed the catheter and he still hasn't gotten back his normal way of elimination. Maybe I'm just being impatient. Or paranoid. In any case, when he gets re-examined next week I'm planning to bring that up in case Tita or Binky forgets to ask about it.

I'm taking a day and night off right now. I'm in my room for once, and all I did this entire day was get back lost sleep. My whole body hurts! And it feels like I'm gonna get a fever. My cough's back too. So my throat feels scratchy when I don't drink water, so I do and salabat as well so much so that I feel bloated now. My joints ache every time I move them. Worse than when you suddenly do a full body exercise after months of sedentary activities.

I guess I need to distance myself a while from Tito. Doesn't help as well that I should be reviewing for the NCLEX. I should've had my exam today but I had it moved to October 24 since I couldn't review nor concentrate while we were at the hospital. Grace also asked me again when I want to have my teaching demo at her school scheduled and I still can't give her a date coz I dunno when I'll be free to actually prepare for it and get time away enough to go to the school.

I don't mind helping out, but a small part of me wishes that Tita Pes would hire a private nurse as well, or a caregiver to watch over Tito during the day. As it is, our lives are kind of at a standstill. Binky and I can't start accepting work. I can't get back to JBL anytime soon coz my exam's still less than a month away and I'm supposed to review, but couldn't. Sometimes I can't help but wish I was somewhere else while I'm at that room watching Tito sleep. Am I being bad to think that? I don't even want to talk about this with my mom coz she and Tita are expecting me and Binky to help out. Like I said, I don't mind it, but am I being an evil niece to sometimes wish otherwise?

Too lazy to think of a decent title

So what to say?

Reviewing again. So am not working right now. Have to take the NCLEX on the 26th of September. By the 24th I'll stop reviewing and just laze around the house. At least that's what I plan to do. I don't know if I'm ready to take the test. I don't really feel psyched up enough, but then I never really do when I take any test after all and so far I still pass. Hope that happens this time around as well.

I miss working at JBL. Nuff said.

Anyways, here's a quiz thingie that I stole from Emski's blog:

What Fe Mendoza Punsalang Means

You are loving, compassionate, and ruled by your feelings. You are able to be a foundation for other people... but you still know how to have fun. Sometimes your emotions weigh you down, but you generally feel free from them. You are friendly, charming, and warm. You get along with almost everyone. You work hard not to rock the boat. Your easy going attitude brings people together. At times, you can be a little flaky and irresponsible. But for the important things, you pull it together. You are confident, self assured, and capable. You are not easily intimidated. You master any and all skills easily. You don't have to work hard for what you want. You make your life out to be exactly how you want it. And you'll knock down anyone who gets in your way! You are very intuitive and wise. You understand the world better than most people. You also have a very active imagination. You often get carried away with your thoughts. You are prone to a little paranoia and jealousy. You sometimes go overboard in interpreting signals. You are balanced, orderly, and organized. You like your ducks in a row. You are powerful and competent, especially in the workplace. People can see you as stubborn and headstrong. You definitely have a dominant personality. You are well rounded, with a complete perspective on life. You are solid and dependable. You are loyal, and people can count on you. At times, you can be a bit too serious. You tend to put too much pressure on yourself. You are incredibly wise and perceptive. You have a lot of life experience. You are a natural peacemaker, and you are especially good at helping others get along. But keeping the peace in your own life is not easy. You see things very differently, and it's hard to get you to budge. You are usually the best at everything ... you strive for perfection. You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive. You have the classic "Type A" personality. You are influential and persuasive. You tend to have a lot of power over people. Generally, you use your powers for good. You excel at solving other people's problems. Occasionally, you do get a little selfish and persuade people to do things that are only in your interest. You are a very lucky person. Things just always seem to go your way. And because you're so lucky, you don't really have a lot of worries. You just hope for the best in life. You're sometimes a little guilty of being greedy. Spread your luck around a little to people who need it. You are the total package - suave, sexy, smart, and strong. You have the whole world under your spell, and you can influence almost everyone you know. You don't always resist your urges to crush the weak. Just remember, they don't have as much going for them as you do. You are relaxed, chill, and very likely to go with the flow. You are light hearted and accepting. You don't get worked up easily. Well adjusted and incredibly happy, many people wonder what your secret to life is. You are deeply philosophical and thoughtful. You tend to analyze every aspect of your life. You are intuitive, brilliant, and quite introverted. You value your time alone. Often times, you are grumpy with other people. You don't appreciate them trying to interfere in your affairs.

What's Your Name's Hidden Meaning?

Hmmmm... some of it is right, some wrong. Go figure.