The SKOW Awards

Some of the (supposed) best online novels available in the net are nominated here; posting this link so you'd be able to access them while the vote's still going on. So far I've only read two of the available titles and SJ Maas' QoG remains my favorite.

MMW Day 3

ECT:
I knew what to expect because I was able to observe the procedure being done several times during the second day we were there, but it was quite different to actually hold a patient down while their entire body is twitching involuntarily and violently.

It’s hardest to look at their eyes while it happens. The fear and trepidation is there even before the doctor touches their temples with the metal rods that apply the electric shock that will course through their brains. We all try to look as calm as possible, try to act confident, like this wasn’t the first time we’d be assisting in such a horrid procedure, so that the patient wouldn’t feel more scared but the fear’s already there anyway because they know what will happen next. Because, unlike us, this wasn’t their first time.

Then comes the pain. They flinch; closing their eyes so tightly like they won’t ever open them again and their whole body tenses as it enters to tonic phase; then comes the seizures and their eyes roll up in their heads while the entire body suddenly becomes so uncontrollable that you need five people to hold one person down. Then they fall asleep with their eyes open, staring up at nothing as their breath comes out like gargles or deep bubbling snores. We leave them like that, with their heads pushed to the side so they won’t aspirate their own saliva.

And all this happens within the span of a minute. One minute of pure torture and hell... and what scares me most about it was my reaction after assisting. I felt energized. I wanted to volunteer again. Wanted to see the whole process again and not just observe. I was more curious and interested than empathic. I didn’t feel their pain. I didn’t feel too horrified. I just accepted it. I feel guilty about that, somewhat. And that ambivalence about whether I really feel bad about not sympathizing more is what terrifies me.

Mt. Samat:
Afterwards we went to Mt. Samat. They’ve turned the mountain into a sort of memorial for the Bataan Death March. And there’s this humongous steel-enforced concrete cross atop the highest point of the mountain that you could see miles away as you drive along the roads of Bataan. The cross is hollow on the inside, has an elevator you can pay 10php to take you up to the cross arms where you can view the entirety of the land surrounding the mountain and if it’s a clear day, you could even see Roxas Boulevard across the sea. The view’s THAT great, but so is the wind as it buffets you and sends shivers down your spine coz it’s just so very cold and strong. A great reminder that yes, you’re atop a mountain and that beneath you, if the cross’s arms accidentally break off, will be around 300ft of air.

As most of my friends know, I HATE riding elevators. So, even though I was petrified I still went up there just to see what’s it like. The view’s really worth all the sweat and nerves. Wish I had a camera with me but then pictures just won’t suffice, as words could not. It's a truly humbling experience...

Just another online quiz

Your Power Color Is Red-Orange

At Your Highest: You are warm, sensitive, and focused on your personal growth. At Your Lowest: You become defensive and critical if you feel attacked. In Love: You are loyal - but you demand the respect you deserve. How You're Attractive: You are very affectionate and inspire trust. Your Eternal Question: "Am I Respected?"

What's Your Power Color?

MMW Day 2

I've never realized how difficult it was to talk to someone diagnosed as clinically insane until I got to face one.

Her name's D.J. (just her initials, we're supposed to keep things confidential). DJ just sat there, as bored as a doorknob, her expression showing how sleepy she was and how she just wanted to get back in bed and doze off. She told me her favorite past time was sleeping. She didn't like to sing, dance, talk to people, eat, nothing... she just wanted to sleep. Every other sentence led back to her wishing to sleep. Gah... nauubusan ako ng sasabihin at itatanong!

Ayoko sa mga mentally ill na patients; give me someone with cancer, AIDS, MI, DM, lupus, or any majorly infectious and communicable disease and I'll be fine and happy coz I'll know what to do.

MMW Day 1

Waaahh... gusto ko maging lecturer ulit si Sir Farley!!! Ang daling intindihin talaga mga lessons when he's the one explaining them. Kahapon kasi ni-review niya kami about ECT dun sa Library Ruins ng Mariveles Mental Ward. Each of us will have a chance kasi to assist with the ECT procedures.

Gawds, ang lamig dun! Ang lakas ng hangin! Sobra! I was getting goose bumps every other minute while we were doing our self analysis therapy. Lumala tuloy sipon ko. Eto, am coughing and sniffling na. Also have a sore throat. Nahawa kasi ako sa mom ko, jeez naman talaga of all the time to catch a cold ngayon pang exposure namin and we NEED to talk properly with patients. Haaaaay... add mo pa monthly visitor and you get one cranky Feifu.

Never too busy to rant

Nakakainis talaga!!! To think, I just got home from school. My class lasted about 2 hours tops from 1:30pm to around 3, then it was all a matter of waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting... you get the drift.

Sir R.M.S. told us early this morning that he'd meet us at 4pm. 4pm's fine since it's just an hour's away from 3pm, right? Four pm came along with his text message that he's still in Bataan and that he would be instead meeting us at 6pm for the briefing for tomorrow's exposure to Mariveles. Around 5:45 he arrived and started to brief us about our requirements. We ended at around 8:30. Eight-fricking-thirty o'clock in the evening. And he expects us to submit a creatively designed self-assessment with a family tree to boot tomorrow when our departure time is 5am. $@#&SHIT!$^%@ Of course I had to buy materials for that stupid project pa so off to NBS our RLE group went. Para kaming nakikipag-Amazing Race or something sa bilis naming tumakbo para lang di kami masarhan ng SM coz syempre we got there na magna-9 na. Bought my art materials and got home around 10pm.

So you might be wondering what I'm doing wasting time blogging? Well, I need to vent out my irritation with that super-inconsiderate-SPO-SOB we unfortunately have for a C.I. for three bloody days. Gods, I hope some doctor at Mariveles mistakes him for a patient and perform a prolonged and multiple ECT on him!!! Nakakainis siya!!!

Drawing Back

I just can't find the right words to rant with so I'm not going to. Just feel frustrated and irritated right now with some people and I don't really want to think about it anymore. Haaaaaaaaay... Ba't nga ba napaka-friendly user ng ibang mga tao, no?

Oh yeah, nga pala, stumbled onto this site somehow. If mahilig kayo sa mga Chinese astrology stuff, feel free to check it out. Here are a few exerpts pala from what the site said about the year of the Monkey.

People born under this influence have an innately low boredom threshold True. I just absolutely hate it when I'm bored.

And although Monkeys give the impression of getting on fabulously with everybody, this great rapport is often nothing but a ruse. Ah heh heh heh... if you guys can just see how I interact with some of the people at school then you'd know how true that statement is about me.

They tend to be lazy, concentrating on small matters while ignoring more important issues. They ignore obstacles, finding them beneath their consideration. Having a short attention span can make it difficult for the Monkey to successfully complete a task. For the Monkey to be prosperous, far-sightedness and vision are vital. Hey, to be fair, some things I do deem as just fit to be shoved aside to the back of the mind, but some I keep in touch of every waking moment so I won't forget about them or won't slack off.

Playful, even obliging at times, the Monkey hides the poor opinion he has of others beneath his apparent friendliness. Eh heh heh heh... it's just that I'd feel better if I did the work coz I know I'd do a better job of it than some of the others... ayoko kasi naiiwan pahapyaw yung work e and some of the people I end up as groupmates are just too lazy for our collective good.

<em>Monkeys are highly adaptable and versatile. Enthusiastic about everything, they spend their time broadening their minds and are especially fascinated with art. They like refinement, originality and luxury. So I like looking at beautiful things and beautiful people? Who doesn't?

Unfortunately, because they are such audacious people and care very little about their reputations, it does not matter much to them whether the impression they create is one of pleasure or of shock. Hahahah! Yeah, although I complain about it sometimes, pakialam ko ba if they think I'm scary sa school. I do my work, besides, I don't go there to socialize with other people. I go there to learn about nursing.

They have a tendency to treat relationships as games and as a consequence has trouble staying committed for an extended period of time. Err, yeah. I've often caught myself testing people I don't know that well, bringing up trouble just to see how'd they react. If I don't like how they treated that particular situation, then I'd start inching away.

The impatient Monkey gets bored easily and is constantly looking for excitement, stimulation and new games. Like I said, I hate hate hate being bored.


Anyways, here's another online quiz:

You Are a Prophet Soul

You are a gentle soul, with good intentions toward everyone. Selfless and kind, you have great faith in people. Sometimes this faith can lead to disappoinment in the long run. No matter what, you deal with everything in a calm and balanced way. You are a good interpreter, very sensitive, intuitive, caring, and gentle. Concerned about the world, you are good at predicting people's feelings. A seeker of wisdom, you are a life long learner looking for purpose and meaning. You are a great thinker and communicator, but not necessarily a doer. Souls you are most compatible with: Bright Star Soul and Dreaming Soul

What Kind of Soul Are You?

Time For A Change

Ah to hell with this, it’s high time for a change anyway. I’ll just use this layout from blogger for the meantime since I am too busy (and admittedly too lazy) to make a layout design of my own. I already miss my cute chibi swordsman whose name I still don’t know until now!!! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!


*waves goodbye to old layout*

Gawds... I didn’t realize just how many links I have put up over the years. My hands hurt from copying & pasting each to the new (super ugly totally isn’t me) layout.

O ayan a... may comments function na po. Comment away please. Unmoderated naman e. Or should I moderate it? Hmmm...

So what color do you guys think should the next layout have as an over all theme?

Mona from FruityML posted this pic from Furuba's latest chapter, 122. It features Tohru and Kyo kissing. Yes, kissing. Well, to be accurate, Kyo was kissing a nearly unconscious Tohru who has just fallen down a cliff after an encounter with Akito and she also currently sporting a bleeding head injury. That's why Kyo's crying in the pic. Doesn't sound too good for Tohru, does it? I sooo want to know what the heck happened before this! I hadn't been following the manga religiously for some time now; I stopped downloading the scans provided by the FruityML since Chapter 112. I hope Tohru doesn't die! It would be disastrous for poor Kyo if she did die; his life's sad enough as is without the added burden of her death.

So we had our 2nd case study presentation yesterday; it went okay except for a few minor bumps that I'm sure Lucia would appreciate I didn't elaborate about in here.

Anyways... what I plan to do next time is have all the rest who aren't assigned to the Drug Study, Diagnostic exams, Anatomy, and Pathophysiology make NCPs coz really, having to make multiple ones is a chore and a headache although I am getting a bit too used to it.

I'd like to handle Anatomy and Physio next time we do another case study coz it would be challenging. No wait, scratch that, if I want a challenge I should volunteer for either the Drug Study or the Pathophysiology. But Patho's Nick's forte and he explains it so well it would be a crime to our group grade if somebody else took over that part. Drug Study it is.

Why is it such a challenge? Well... try explaining the actions of about 10+ drugs, know by heart their generic name, brand names, classification, contraindication, adverse effects, all available stock dose and forms, dosage and route, special precautions, drug interaction, indication, and nursing consideration and try to explain why this drug was prescribed by the doctor for the patient whose case you're studying and do that in front of a panel (at times) of R.N.s who butt in and correct you just about every other sentence you utter; wouldn't that be a challenge to you as well?

Considering our previous experience in pharmacology because of that horrid professor I kept ranting about a few months ago, is it any wonder most (if not all) from our batch mislike the very thought of doing drug studies?

Gahh...

Warning: yet again another rant folks... January’s not shaping up as a good month for me. Hope that changes soon.

My brain functions relatively well early in the mornings, and by that I mean REALLY early as in starting around midnight onwards. Then at 4 or 5pm it starts to shut down. My eyes start getting red, I yawn incessantly, and I just want to curl up with my favorite pillow. So it’s a good thing that most of the time we have already been dismissed from duty or school around 5 and I get home by 6pm coz by that time I really am nothing more than a walking zombie. I get around 4 to 6 hours of sleep every Mondays to Saturdays; that is if I’m lucky. Then I make amends by sleeping most of Sunday, my new favorite day of the week.

Why am I talking about this? Well mainly coz I’m fed up with the people who complain that I don’t reply to their calls or text messages. Of course, how can one reply when one is sleeping like the dead? As far as I know, I have never sleepwalked so I highly doubt I would sleeptext if there have ever been cases of that.

So all I’m saying is this to those totally bwisit na taong walang pakundangang magcomment ng masama sakin at magcomplain: just because I have a different body clock than you and that I don’t stay up late at night for your freaking convenience doesn’t mean you have the bloody right to dictate and lecture me about being irresponsible. I do my part, more so even coz I cover for my groupmates’ proverbial necks when they don’t manage to finish their part of the work. I hope you decide to turn up that snotty wrongly righteous nose of yours somewhere else before I get irritated enough to shove it into your nonexistent brain.



Okay... got that out of my system. Time for replies:

Shannelle: Ginawa daw bang hostage yung mga libro ko! Lolz ^_^ Umn, teka check ko lang list ko... ahh, eto. Judith McNaught’s A Kingdom of Dreams, Jude Deveraux’s The Conquest, and Julie Garwood’s Castles. Wow, parang ang tagal ko ng hindi nagbabasa ng kahit anong romance novel a... di ko kasi feel e.

QT and Aldrin: oh yeah... I did see this black and silver covered Narnia compilation that was like 3inches thick costing around 800-900php before. Dunno the publisher though, nakita ko lang yun mga ilang months before they theaters released the movie. Mas okay na yun I think compared dun sa tinitinda nila ngayon na collection. Definitely mas mura since ala man lang siyang 1thou.

Ana: lolz ^_^ I’m not really that pissed off about it na. Just don’t let me come within 20 feet of her and we’ll both be fine. At least my blood doesn’t boil anymore at just the thought of her or what she did or whenever I see her victim, my poor dilapidated book.



Gah... I really need to get my blog's comment function to work but am too lazy to tweak it around. Maybe on Sunday... maybe. Waaaahhh!!! Ang dami kong kailangan tapusin!!!

Haaay... I'm a bit touchy about lending books right now coz of Fel.

She returned my copy of the Da Vinci Code yesterday and the poor book looks... well, to put it bluntly, it looks murdured. As in ang dumi niya, the half of the pages nakatanggal from the spine and wala na yung paper cover. What pisses me off more is that she didn't say anything, she didn't approach me to explain why my book is like that, no explanations, no excuses, no apologies, no nothing. Pinadaaan lang niya kay Diana yung book, ni hindi man siya yung nagbalik. Granted I did ask Diana to hound her to give the book back pero man, ala siya at all ginawa. And she had the guts pa to complain to Diana na ganun na daw yung book when she got it. I know from Che-che na the cover got torn before she gave it to Fel, but dammit the book itself was okay. Jeez... what a liar that girl turned out to be. And what a disappointment. Nakakahiya ginawa niya. Darn her.

But yeah, Shannelle, like I said, got a copy of "A Feast for Crows" and yeah hardbound siya. Got it sa NBS sa SM North Edsa although that was their last copy - kaya agad kong kinuha in case yung guy na tumitingin din sa aisle na yun e pagkainteresan din niya heheh ^^0 Dunno when I'll go to Manila ulit though. And oh yeah... before you borrow AFfC could you return my other books first??? DI ba asayo yung Otherland books ko and some romance novels? ^_________^

To Ana-nechan: I don't plan on buying Narnia any time soon. Dunno, just biased against it, I guess. Nick, Lucy, Nhey and the others (my classmates and my mom) liked the movie but I just can't seem to, so no I'm not gonna buy the books. I've read them already anyway.

To Borj: In case you're visiting the blog and wondering why I haven't lent you the book yet... I have to repair the poor thing, at least have the leaves reglued or something, and then Camille, my cousin asked to borrow it for her bookreport in one of her classes so sa kanya ko na muna pahihiram. Sensya na. As soon as she's done with it I'll let you borrow it if you still want to. Readable pa naman siya, thank God for small favors na alang torn pages... or at least I haven't discovered any so far.

Oh my god, oh my god, oh my gods!!!

Book 2 Chapter 24 of SJ Maas' Queen of Glass just got posted!!! If you haven't read Book 1 yet, go here. It's really a worthwhile read. As in! Go! Read it! Now!!! I'll be reading Chap24 as soon as I finish posting this.

One other reason I'm terribly hyper is that I finally got a copy of George R.R. Martin's "A Feast for Crows" today! Wai! Wai! Wai!! Good thing we have a free day on Monday, I'll have time to read it the whole day!!! La-di-da~

*feifu signing off and prancing towards fiction heaven*

It’s has been almost a year now since Fel Maniago borrowed my illustrated copy of Dan Brown’s “Da Vinci Code”. There are around 3 or four more people lined up to borrow it after her, all asking me when they’ll get to borrow the book. They tell me that they’d like to be able to read it before the movie gets released. I tell them the same thing all the time, that my copy’s still with Fel and that she probably hasn’t finished reading it yet. I mean, not everyone reads as fast as I do, right? Other people take their time reading... so I gave her a whole semester before I asked her about my book. So as I said, it has been almost a year now since she borrowed it. After one semester, I deem it reasonable to ask her about where she was with the book. She said she’s done reading it. Okay, so I tell her to give it back to me ASAP. She says yes, several times in fact, but has yet to return it. Thinking that it’s coz we have opposing schedules, me being in school when she’s at the hospital and vice versa, I just told her to give it to Borj who’s the next person who wants to borrow the book. She agrees. Then afterwards she tells me that Erick Jay has the book, Erick’s also borrowing it from me so okay, I said it’s fine. Then just this week I got to talk to Erick and asked him how he’s finding the story and he up and tells me that Fel hasn’t handed him the book yet. And that he and Borj had been asking Fel about it and si Fel pa yung wala sa mood kapag tinatanong nila siya. I’ve been trying to call Fel but she rejects my calls after 2 rings; I’ve texted her but she doesn’t reply. I’ve asked a friend of hers to talk to her about giving me back my book but so far no results as of yet. I think I’m rightly justified to feel pissed off just about now, right?

I’m being civil... too civil in fact. And I’m gonna stop being civil coz this is MY blog after all and fuck anyone who thinks they can dictate what I post here.

I want to scream from frustration right now. I’m angry! Damn it! I don’t mind that she hasn’t returned the book, what I bloody hate is that she fucking lied to my face about giving it to Erick when she bloody hasn’t!

My gods, really... what pisses me off more is that it’s just a book. A book! A bloodygodmotherfuckingcruddy BOOK!!! Never mind that it’s 1,400php and that I didn’t eat lunch for a few days just so I’d save up money to buy it, I mean, it’s just a fricking collection of paper and ink and papasira niya yung reputasyon niya for that?! Taragisan! PUTARAGISAN NIYA!

I don’t really mind if she destroyed/damaged/lost the goddamned thing, all she has to do is tell me. I wouldn’t have minded it much. I’ve forgiven people who borrowed books and lost them or damaged them coz they told me straight to my face na Fe, I’m sorry I can’t return your book coz this or that happened to it. Some of those same friends offer to replace the book but I usually just let it be and let them return it to me as it is coz hey, they’re my friends and people are more important than books... but to have someone actually LIE to me and then not take my calls and answer my texts and avoid me just coz of whatever reason that prevents her from returning that darned book to me is really IRRITATING THE HELL OUT OF ME!!!

Right now I’m venting out my anger here. I really really really really really want to grind Fel to a bloody unrecognizable pulp, I want to smash her face in, cut all her stupid artificially relaxed straight hair to the root, better yet pull each out by clumps, then skin her alive and roast her over an active and erupting volcano not because she hasn’t returned my stupid copy of the Da Vinci Code, but because she fucking lied to me. FUCK HER!!! GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR……………………………

Minsan lang talaga ako magalit ng ganito katindi sa mga taong kilala ko, considering ang haba na talaga ng pasensya ko that I can tolerate people taking advantage of me and all that... pero naman no! Konting delikadesa lang sana. If you borrow something, at least have the good graces to give it back or if you can’t at least tell the person who owns it why you can’t give it back yet. I know I have borrowed some things and forgotten to give them back at one point or another, but I’ve never lied to anyone yet when they’re asking what I borrowed back and couldn’t return it. Papalitan ko yun by hook or by crook kahit mahirapan akong maghanap ng kapalit or mas mahal na bilhin, paniguradong ibabalik ko yung nahiram ko kasi responsibility ko yun the moment the hinand over yun ng may ari sakin. That’s a given rule di ba?! Na if you borrow something that’s not yours you take care of it more than you would your own possession coz the person who lent it to you not only lent you that object but also given you their trust?

Taragisan talaga... pag naencounter ko si Fel nito ano mang excuse niya ipababalik ko sa kanya yung book and I’ll expect it to be in mint condition coz I lent it to her that way. Pag hindi... shit will hit her face.

If you went to watch a movie yesterday, chances are that you either chose between "The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe" or "Don’t Give Up On Us". I was one who chose the former. Mom was with me and she was surprised at how many people were inside the theater, most of whom were kids. She liked the film, actually said that she found it better than LotR; I couldn’t disagree more. Just like reading the books, I HATED watching it. I dunno why I did. Curiosity I guess. But I was highly disappointed. It didn’t have the right feel to it, the pacing was too quick and the emotions too abrupt like everyone was in a hurry. I couldn’t relate to the characters, couldn’t empathize with their plight. I found them too shallow, their emotions too forced.

What I did like were the White Witch’s costumes. I LOVED Jadis’ gowns, even her battle gear looked great. I won’t be surprised if in the next cosplay competition someone would come as her. Aslan though kept reminding me of Lion King’s Mufasa ^^0

Anyways, here’s another online quiz I got from Cheena’s LJ:

You scored as English. You should be an English major! Your passion lies in writing and expressing yourself creatively, and you hate it when you are inhibited from doing so. Pursue that interest of yours! English 100% Art 92% Linguistics 92% Theater 83% Journalism 83% Psychology 83% Sociology 83% Mathematics 75% Biology 75% Anthropology 75% Philosophy 67% Dance 58% Chemistry 58% Engineering 58% What is your Perfect Major? (PLEASE RATE ME!!<3) created with QuizFarm.com

I have class again in a while. Gawds we have a long exam about Personality and Mood Disorders. Fun, really; learning what possible psychiatric disorder people I know are prone to heheh ^^0

Had another attack of migraine yesterday so after the movie, went home and slept. I woke up at around 12am so didn’t get to greet Seika-chan as I planned, so here goes:


HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SEIKA-CHAN!!!

Sensya na late greeting na ko. Wasn’t bringing my cellphone with me yesterday when we left home for the early mass, tapos dumeretso na kami to the mall. Hope you had a great birthday celebration ^^ Miss yah, imouto-chan ^^

Ah bugger this! I'm supposed to be reviewing about COPD and drugs but of course I'm not heheh ^^0 instead I'm checking out the fanfiction library at www.dotmoon.net I really should stop and just study but my heart's not into it *sigh*

Yes... we have duty today at Magalang, have to leave on or before 530am here so I can make the 630am departure time for our group. Then we have around an hour or so more of traveling before we reach the hospital. Gawds... just thinking about lugging all those books and paraphernalia around then having to study for a quiz makes me overly tired. I just want to curl up in bed again and sleep the whole day off. My head hurts as it is. Maybe that's why I don't feel like studying and instead am procrastinating yet again with either this blog or the dotmoon library ^^0 I really truly should just stop.

Kay, I’ll admit it, I’m too lazy to blog the past several days not just because it was a holiday but because our NCM lecturer, Ms. Cunanan told us to keep a journal (yes, paper/hardcopy/handwritten) of our thoughts and activities. So instead of writing stuff here on the blog, I’ve been hell-bent on filing up that notebook with random rants and ramblings that I would usually put here. So there.

What’s been up with me? Ummm... school started again so as you can imagine the workload’s back and the deadlines suck again coz we have only two remaining months to take up three more concepts (with at least a hundred+ page per concept handouts) and that’s just one subject...

I’ll leave you with these blogthings I answered sometime last week when I had the time to waste answering them, and I gotta go coz I need to finish this assignment I need to pass later today. Jaaa~!

Your Eyes Should Be Gray

Your eyes reflect: Intensity and drive What's hidden behind your eyes: A sensitive soul

What Color Should Your Eyes Be?

You Have a Phlegmatic Temperament

Mild mannered and laid back, you take life at a slow pace. You are very consistent - both in emotions and actions. You tend to absorb set backs easily. You are cool and collected. It is difficult to offend you. You can remain composed and unemotional. You are a great friend and lover. You don't demand much of others. While you are quiet, you have a subtle wit that your friends know well. At your worst, you are lazy and unwilling to work at anything. You often get stuck in a rut, without aspirations or dreams. You can get too dependent on others, setting yourself up for abandonment.

What Temperment Are You?