I'm here at SM North virtually wasting time and money using the internet here at Netopia. I dread what I'm about to do... not that I'll give you any details *insert evil laugh*. Just watched The Ring, the Japanese version of it anyway. Still gotta watch the Hollywood version, maybe I'll get scared there coz I didn't with the one I watched. I guess I more or less expected what was gonna happen. Had several spoilers from Emski, Jean, Tin and Aileen some few weeks ago. Guess that well, spoiled the movie's suspense for me. The only thing I feel a tad bit quesy about is that I probably won't feel too easy with having that goddamned big screen tv inside my room later tonight. Oh well... we'll see.

Still reading Raymond E. Feist's works. Now reading Servant of the Empire. It's mainly about a woman named Mara of the Acoma family of Kelewan. Long story. Just suffice it to say it's a story about her rise to power. As I told Ana yesterday, yes I think that was yesterday, Mara reminds me of the two princesses of Dhagmar. These two are my own creations. Yeiralis and her twin sister Yeularis are a mix of Mara's character and personality. Anyways, the novels I'm reading give me some ideas about Dhagmar. I guess it just helps in my writing. *shurgs* Wala lang... I'm finding it hard creating not only a whole new universe for El Estrall, which is another long story.

Can't seemto find it in myself to continue the YYH fic I've been writing lately. I guess with the real world sorta catching up with me of late I just feel too tired to write; I mean write in the creative and non diary style aspect of writing. Dunno why. I feel kinda down lately for no apparent reason. Must be nearing that time of the month... seriously, guys have it easy. they don't have to suffer every goddamned month. Hmmm... let me rephrase that. I guess they do suffer too, somewhat, coz they'll have to put up with women whose moods swings arrive like an unexpected thunderstorm in the middle of summer. Whatever.

I have a perverse fascination with war, I think. I like seeing people bludgeoning and hacking each other to bloody pulps, all in the name of nation and "good" in general.

But who can say who's right and who's not? Everyone who fights usually has something, be it an idea or a dream, to fight for. Something that drives them to risk their lives and the lives of many others to reach that goal, that unfathomable dream. It gives me goosebumps seeing people sacrificing themselves for this idea. Seems like they're beyond being human, you know? Like they embody something beyond themselves and that this thing gives them strength not normally seen in them had they not been fighting for it. It's wonderful to witness such a thing. Such a miracle.

Maybe the reason for my fascination with war is this: I want to see this miracle firsthand and the only way I could do so is to be in a situation wherein such doings are possible. War brings out the best and worst in people, I think. Although not many people would agree with me, I think that once in a while, we do need wars so that we can remember that we do not exist for ourselves alone. That there is something more important than ourselves. That we are connected to each other whether we liked it or not.

Hmmm... late night snack of mocha ice cream and black coffee isn't good for me. Just watched LOTR 2 with my mother this afternoon and I couldn't getthe fight scenes out of my head. That and Faith Hill's Breathe. This is all your fault Neechan!!! I STILL am NOT going to write that scene about Faye and Rus, alright?!

Going to Mega Mall tomorrow for an RO2 meeting. Will be meeting Ana and Tintin before that.

I just discovered that I actually hate melon milk. Not that I don't like the taste, it's just that I don't like the feel of my tongue after drinking it. I don't feel like I'm drinking anything, and even crave for several glasses of water after just one measely glass of it. Now that's the thing I hate about it. I'm forced to drink too much water therefore I feel bloated for at least half a day. Hate that.

Still reading Feist. The King's Buccaneer was it? Whatever. all I know is that it's the story about Nicholas, Arutha's youngest son. You remember Prince Arutha of Krondor,don't you Emski?

Ahhh... the taste of freedom. I can almost savor it ^______^

Yes. I'm going out of my self-imposed prison. Just to meet old friends and talk about business, so to speak. But's I'm gonna relish even just the idea that for one whole measely day, I would break my routine and get out of the house and do something except write those blasted goddamned stories!!!! I'm bored!!!!

I have less than five months to decide what to do with my life.

Yes, despite having what I could call a long term goal, I still am somewhat undecided as to how to go about it. So I have about five months to do so, decide I mean. This means I have five long months to spare doing absolutely nothing. I have five months to get bored out of my mind staying here at home. And I have five months to procrastinate.

Very bad of me, I know, but what's a girl to do?

I haven't told any of my friends yet, but I'm seriously considering taking up nursing this coming June. Yes, that's the reason why I only have less than five months to decide. Because come June, I should have all my papers and everything settled if I do want to study.

I learn something new about one of my aunts today... I absolutely cannot believe it's true. It's quite a family scandal if it's true. I hope it sn't. For my uncle's sake, that is.

Met my old high school best friend, Ruth Aquino, yesterday when we were at the mall buying badminton rackets. It was quite a shock for me to see her, not just because I haven't heard from her in five years but because of her state... Ruth, my dear old friend, was pregnant. She's my age, just out of college, and she now has a husband and is now expecting their first child on the 24th! Oh lord... I hope my mother doesn't expect the same of me...

This morning before going to mass, while I was taking a shower, an idea hit me. Maybe because I was slightly pissed off at myself as well, but for some reason,. as Ipoured water over myself, I started to plan. Yes. Plan about my future of all things. I'm happy to report that I now have a long term goal. Yes, for once in my life, I'm gonna plan my life towards something. At least that's a good start isn't it?

Homura! Homura! Homura! Homura! Homura! Homura! Homura! Homura! Homura! Homura! Homura! Homura! Homura! Homura! Homura! Homura! Homura! Homura! Homura! Homura! Homura! Homura! Homura! Homura! Homura! Homura! Homura! Homura! Homura! Homura! Homura! Homura! Homura! Homura! Homura! Homura! Homura! Homura! Homura! Homura! Homura! Homura! Homura! Homura! Homura! Homura! Homura! Homura! Homura! Homura! Homura! Homura! Homura! Homura! Homura! Homura! Homura! Homura! Homura! Homura! Homura! Homura! Homura! Homura! Homura! Homura! Homura! Homura! Homura! Homura! Homura! Homura! Homura! Homura! Homura! Homura!

I am obviously obssessed with Homura right now. I'm even thinking of making a shrine for him; something like a "current anime bishounen crush" section in Killer's Rant. I'll think about it. ^_______________^

I finally got the Saiyuki songs I've been looking for since November. Thank you, animemp3s.org!!! "Tightrope" helped me go through a terrible bus ride one time, made my headache go away for some reason so I've been looking for a copy of it. I even considered buying the soundtrack next time I visit Comic Alley just so I can get a copy of it. Turns out I don't have to now ^_^

Watching a Glay at Wowow; waiting for one measely song for them to play...
My opinion: well at least I can say they didn't exactly rise to fame just cause of their looks ^_^;
Their vocalist's face is kinda growing on me though. I didn't like how he looked too much when I first saw him on screen, but now as I continue watching the concert, well, let's just say I've grown used to how he looks and I dunno if it's me but he looks somewhat better than he did a few minutes ago ^_^; One of the guitarists, the one with the weird hair sticking every which way, reminds me of Benson!!! Heheh, no wonder that boy was once told he looked like someone from a Jrock band or something like that.

It's 2003!!! Oh My God!!! I don't want it to be 2003! Why? I just don't want it to be, that's all ^_^;

Hmmm... it's actually utterly crazy. I've been having dreams of this one person I've only known for about a year now. Dreams that scare me about how this person is faring. Because two of those dreams I've had showed this person with me while in the dream my teeth fell off. I heard from my mother that this is a bad sign, that someone was going to get sick or worse, die. I hope this person, and everyone this person holds close, remains safe. My mom also told me that I need to tell the person involved about the dream, so nothing untowards would happen to that person, but I can't seem to tell this friend of mine about the dream. I did ask how my friend is faring, and I've been told that everything was fine so I hope that's enough...