Maybe I could get the best of both worlds after all.

I’ll have to see what happens though, see if I’ll even get the BSP job. I have an interview this coming Wednesday so please, everyone, pray I do great. Then tomorrow I’ll be showing my transcript to my cousin and his wife who are both taking up nursing in a Nueva Ecija school. They’ll fax my TOR to the school and see how many subjects I can have credited. My cousin, and his doctor wife, both go there during the weekends, so they can technically keep their day jobs and still go to school… I just might be able to do that too… I hope.

Now, I know this will be hard… I mean, whole week at Manila working then weekends at Nueva Ecija studying… that’s bound to be tiring. But I’m really hoping I could go do that. This’ll be for my future after all. So, please, please, please pray for me, ne?

~ ~ ~

Jenny! Hey, I’m not sure I could go after all. Is that this April na? Been kinda busy lately. About the nursing and job thing plus family stuff. Tell you about it more when I see you at YM, pag pareho tayong online. I really don’t have that much time to go online lately.

Ana: I still owe you several emails: the Illusion chap 6 ideas, Citylands info, and the scan of the Inquirer house I was texting you about. Sensya na, no time me to ready the stuff I have to email. I’ll try to call before this weekend. Hirap kasi biglang ang daming pinupuntahan e. Gomen…

Tin: How’s life? Wag mo ng masyadong problemahin yung about the ex. Yes, yes, kahit na ugaling-ugaling David sya. Heheheh… anu na lang sasabihin ni Mike… ala ka… lol. And to think… makakatuluyan sa Illu ni Mendrez si Wesley and di si Castillon… hmmm… j/k. Anyways, can I please, please ask you to send me the floor plans of the Panlilio house? Plus Terry’s pad? Kasama dun yung kanyang computer shop di ba? 1st floor yung shop then sa 2nd floor’s Terry’s living space. And can you connect Terry’s place to the main Panlilio compound? And make sure there’s a balcony overlooking the Panlilio main house’s garden? May balak kasi akong scene that needs a balcony and a garden. Ana knows about it na. I’ll probably be writing some parts of chapter 6 pala. Take a break daw muna kasi si Neechan. She’s into Harry Potter kasi right now heheh… (Neehcan, if ever lumabas na yung book 5 pahiramna lang a? lol ^_^) Btw, can’t find your cd. I’ll try to look for it pa rin sa mga stuff ko kaso me have no time lately. Text you if I ever find it, k?

There are two things in this world that would surely make me cry for no apparent reason at all:

Bob Carlisle’s Butterfly Kisses. Makes me think of my dad. Heard this last Tuesday over the P.A. system of a local supermarket, and I fairly made my cousin and mother worry why I was suddenly crying. Can’t help it. Even when my cousin tried making me laugh, as long as the song was playing, I couldn’t stop crying… good thing I didn’t really make a scene like bawling right then and there which I did when I first heard this song while I was thankfully inside my room listening to the fm radio playing it.

Fruits Basket episode 15, specifically the scene about Sohma Momiji explaining how his mother ‘forgot’ about him… if that isn’t a tear-jerker… *sigh* kawaisou…

~ ~ ~

Tin: hmmm… as I said, don’t do anything rash. Heheh, j/k pero hindi naman kaya nakalala sa sitwasyon mo na yan na kaugali ni David yung ex mo?

Emski: got the quiz at Goddess Quiz

Took the “Which Goddess Are You?” quiz and the result I got is this:

You scored 25% Hestia
If you embody the qualities of Hestia, you understand the value of having your own sacred place, whether it's an actual room or simply a time of day when you free your mind of busy thoughts and experience peace of mind. There's no doubt this place is at home -- where you feel the most joy. Home is your sanctuary. You are at home with yourself wherever you are, though, and no matter whom you are with. You know that the meaning of your life springs from your spiritual center. This brings you a great sense of security. You do not crave attention or material possessions; you nurture your friends and family with your unconditional love.

You scored 25% Athena
If you are ruled by Athena, you are bright-eyed, shrewd, resourceful and inventive. With friends, you are the wise counselor -- always ready with an empowering message. You are believe strongly that women can accomplish anything men can. No wonder you put so much time into your career. Athena women tend to be ruled by their head, not by their heart. You carefully guard your intimate side, protecting your emotions and vulnerability. If you want to awaken your unexpressed womanliness, you'll have to use the same passion you apply to your intellectual achievements. It's important that you work to integrate your strong masculine side with your feminine side -- bringing together your strength with your vulnerability, your creativity with caring, your intelligence with imagination. Otherwise, you risk coming off as unaffectionate and self-righteous.

You scored 25% Artemis
If you are ruled by Artemis, your independent spirit belongs to no one but yourself. Your body is vibrant, your attitude robust and your manner vigorous and alive. You are driven by physical rather than mental energy. You feel complete without a man in your life and would never compromise your essential nature for a romantic partner. You are skilled at establishing personal boundaries and enter into relationships on your own terms -- in short, you can take care of yourself. This attitude may at times put men off. But if what you're looking for is an equal, loving relationship, take some tips from Hera.

Hmmm… I just realized it… aren’t those three the only virgin goddesses of Greek mythology? Hahahahaha!!! Now isn’t that kinda funny? I’m ¾’s a man-hater?! Or at least close to being one... which I'm not really. Just that I've very high standards... ok, I'll stop being defensive about it now.

Here are the other percentages:

You scored 16.7% Aphrodite
Hey at least I'm almost 20% "charismatic and self-assured, comfortable with your body and unrestrained sexually, having men drawn to me like bees to flowers, which satisfies your erotic nature" but here's the catch... "However, you tend not to form permanent attachments with lovers because you value your sexual freedom, which may leave you feeling lonely and even depleted once a relationship ends." ---> makes me almost despair about ever finding anyone and keeping him... but then, I'll dwell on that if and when the time comes.

You scored 8.3% Persephone
"...most likely experienced great loss in your life -- the loss of your health or your emotional or physical security, the betrayal of a friend or lover, the loss of a child, your own divorce or that of your parents. This experience has forced you to face the dark, unenlightened side of yourself (the side that blames other people or circumstances for your own suffering) and transform yourself into a stronger, more independent, more accepting and more loving person. It may have also led you down a spiritual path, and moved you to place great emphasis on inner calm and on close connections with friends. You are capable of embracing, integrating and accepting difficult experiences. Because of that skill, you offer others the gift of empathy -- you know where they are or have been." ---> that's cool ^_^


You scored 0% Hera
You scored 0% Demeter

The problem with dreaming is that you have to be asleep. Asleep means that you’re unconscious of practically everything that goes around you. You never get anything done. Therefore whatever dreams you may want to come true never will because you don’t get to do anything that would help you get to that dream of yours. So however entertaining dreams can be, they’re nothing to real life.

Or is it?

What happens when your dreams are a lot more entertaining and satisfying to spend your time on than that of what you can call your life? Will you wish to remain forever in dream-state, never wanting to wake up? But you’ll eventually have to; unless of course you’re in a coma of a sort, but that’s a different matter altogether, isn’t it?

To continually have dreams means you’ll have to stay asleep for more than the required eight hours that so few people really get to have these hectic days. So it’s a nearly impossible feat to remain asleep. Then when you do opt to stay in bed, your bodily functions get in the way of sleeping: you feel the need to eat, bathe, defecate, etc. So a lot of things eventually pull you away from that illusive dream-state. It’s like nature is keeping you in tight reins to remain living. Maybe we ought to be thankful for that.

A dream:

Water. Lots of water. I was swimming below the surface of a turbulent ocean; trying to find land. I can mysteriously breathe under water as well as I can breathe when out of it. But I was afraid to come out, afraid to go even near the surface because of the massive foamy waves that battled each other on the surface.

Then I spied out a platform. It was a top of a tower of steel, once one of the highest manmade structures in the world, now only its roof remained un-submerged. I braved the surface and finally climbed onto the platform only to discover that there were other people already there. They were waiting for me, seems that they could not leave the platform to go to the only remaining land without my presence. I went with them, having no choice.

We went through a whole in the middle of the platform and somehow, we were already somewhere else. It was a dry land full of rocky hills. Here there was no body of water to be seen except the puddles the rain was making, puddles that disappeared after a few minutes.

We encountered two creatures that my companions thought to be monsters that they’d have to slay. To me they were just baby birds, golden and resembling the young ones of the mighty eagle. My companions managed to slay one while I took the other one in my hands trying to protect it from them, even running away from my companions just to protect it when they would not listen to me as I told them that it was harmless.

A native of this dry land came and found me. I explained to him what happened and he then thanked me for protecting the chick. They were this place’s sacred birds, almost extinct and rare in producing an offspring. He explained to me that the two chicks were always born one male and one female, born to become mates later on in their lives. They never mate with any other birds. That the male partner of the chick I was holding was dead was indeed a great tragedy.

I remember weeping for the poor creature I held. There was one way of saving the chick’s spirit from a lifetime of sorrow, the man explained. The first step was to incorporate the chick’s spirit with my own. This is done by letting it eat a part of my flesh; flesh as close to the heart as possible. The spirit would then merge with my own and in this way, I could save the poor creature. The man said that it was fortunate that the one I was able to save was female for then it would be an easier ordeal for me to incorporate its spirit with mine.

I did as he explained. What he didn’t say was that the poor chick would die when its spirit merges with mine; that human flesh was poison for these birds. Indeed, what I just did was more painful for the young thing than what was done to its future mate. The next thing he didn’t explain was that in merging my spirit with the bird, I would feel a terrible urge to avenge the chick’s future partner against those who took him away from her.

I was in a sense, a newborn, yet not. I felt ageless, yet not. What resulted after the merging was me… yet not.

I, as a human, was enraged at him. I, as the bird, plotted. The bird won. Its fear was diminishing; replacing fear was an enormous rage against my former companions.

The man helped me. He took me to their village, a hidden village somewhere in the middle of those hills. He instructed me on how to survive in this harsh land. As I learned, I plotted.

Time passed, maybe a week, maybe a month, or even a year… I don’t really know. The human side of me has managed to control the rage felt by the bird. There was one thing else… my skills have evolved somewhat. I can now fly. On will, my arms could grow feathers and turn into enormous wings. I used this ability to spy on those who were my former companions.

They were fewer in number by this time. Originally, we must have numbered at least a hundred. Now the number I spied out must be half that. They were looking for a place, still continually searching around the hills, looking for something. They were going around in circles and they didn’t know it.

I decided to leave the village and travel with them, tell them that while I was away, I found the place they were looking for. I became their guide. And they followed me. Some of them were even happy and relieved to see me… I laughed inside knowing I only came there to do them mischief, to kill them all off if possible.

I lead them towards a cave, saying that this was the only way to reach the place they were looking for. We encountered a herd of elephants, hundreds of them, at the mouth of the cave. The elephants knew me for what I was, knew that inside me was the sacred bird’s spirit. Their leader decided to help me, not telling the other humans that the cave leads to nowhere. The elephant leader even asked some of his herd to carry us on their backs through the cave, as I understand, it was supposed to be a long travel from one end of the cave to the other. I climbed atop a white elephant, a magnificent creature that was also as awed with me as my human side was with him.

It was then that I woke up.

On a more serious note:

I’ve been trying to ignore and generally not really think about what’s been happening between the US and Iraq for to speak frankly – at least this is my opinion – thinking about it is a waste of time. War is inevitable.

Call me apathetic or whatever else you want to, but I don’t think that human beings are built for peace. Even during the times that history call the “Golden Era” of any nation/race/country, there usually is some sort of war going on some place else. War usually is the employ of people who are after power or after keeping the power they already have. I think war is the human version of the constant fight for survival and affirmation of supremacy we see among animals in the National Geographic Channel or Discovery Channel on cable tv. Without war, human history would be very boring and technology would certainly not be what it is today. So, in an causal way, war is good; for the following reasons:

- People wouldn’t know how valuable peace actually is without war. Like the argument that darkness/evil is necessary in order to appreciate light/good. It gives balance to the world and therefore needed.

- War lessens the problem of population explosion. Kill off enough people and the survivors would have more space and resources for themselves. Cold of me to say so but it is just the truth. Nature can’t accommodate all of us so some will just have to go. And since pestilence, famine, and diseases are losing the battle against modern science, the only thing left to do is for us to kill each other off the place of the planet.

- As I said before, technology wouldn’t be what it is today if it wasn’t for war. People tend to become more creative, inventive, and imaginative when their very existence is at stake.

These are just a few of what we can call good after effects of war. There may be others, but I don’t really want to think, let alone write, about them right now.

Wars will inevitable come, not just the impending one between the US and Iraq. It’ll affect a lot of people in a negative way, but we really mustn’t fret. It’s not anything new. Human beings have survived wars before, and we’re just too many to completely eradicate from the face of the earth without damaging the planet itself.

I guess the question is: who will survive? Survive and rebuild after the war is over. Somebody eventually would; but I can’t answer who it’ll be. I just hope my family, friends, and I would be among the survivors, but if we’re not and we die along with the rest of the war victims, well… we’ll be past caring by then, wouldn’t we?

I was at my aunt's house yesterday trying to download my resume from my own email inbox coz the blasted diskette I saved the file in wouldn't let meopen the file. This is all coz I ran out of ink for my printer and so I can't print my own resume at home.

Anyway, she showed us some pictures of her youngest grandson named Kobe - my own nephew through my cousin, btw - and he was so darned cute!!! La lang, heheheh!

Methinks I’m getting better at drawing hands. But then again, that’s just me thinking so. Haven’t exactly showed that many people my drawings yet.

Some more quizzes. Coz I'm procrastinating yet again. Should be readying some papers and having my picture taken to put on my "updated resume" - like I've updated that blasted thing already - but here I am yet again wasting time. Well, that's just me.

~ ~ ~

You're the sad smile,the one that regrets nearly
everything and is constantly wondering about
what could have been.You're not happy with your
situation and usually blame yourself because of
the bad things that have happened.Cheer up.


What Kind of Smile are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Hmmm, is that so? This reminds me someone...

~ ~ ~

Neutral:
Harmony and balance is key. You don't look at the
world in a negative or positive way and you'll
never judge or assume a situation- you just
look at the facts. People like you are peaceful
and accepting.


What color do you see the world in?
brought to you by Quizilla

~ ~ ~

Your Heart is Red


What Color is Your Heart?
brought to you by Quizilla

Emski said that I'm secretly a romantic at heart... hmmm... I dunno about that. Seriously though, I wonder why'd she get black for her heart's color? You can't possibly be that jaded about love, right?

~ ~ ~

Freezer. You feel nothing and wish to feel nothing
so you find peace in the way you think,
however, your emotions are more nuetral than
balanced. Coldness and tolerance can be the
ways of a passive heart.


How Emotional Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

My right shoulder and arm still feels numb to the touch. I don’t know what’s wrong with it; I just know that there is something wrong. It shouldn’t feel numb when I touch it, let alone when I pinch myself there.

I barely have any opportunities to use the computer these past couple of days coz my mom’s hogging it. I introduced her to a game called Diamond Mine. Learned of the game from Saintski. And like my dear former roommate, my mom’s unfortunately hooked with the darned game. She can play it for four hours straight; meaning I have to wait till really late in the evening to be able to use my computer and when she sees me using it – checking mail or generally typing up a storm – she then admonishes me to go to sleep already coz its already late.

Been out with shopping at a bazaar with Tita Betty and my mom. Bought some clothes and accessories; even won the raffle they were holding – my prize’s a nice v-neck shirt and a cell phone jacket. I didn’t even know there was a raffle until my mom suddenly said that some guy in the P.A. system was calling for me. I figure I’m just lucky when I don’t know there’s a contest going on in the first place.

To the Illusion crew:
Kailan kayo punta dito? My mom's asking me coz I keep hounding her na pupunta nga kayo dito hehehe!!!

I really really really like Matrim Cauthon.

I bought and am currently reading Robert Jordan's Crossroads of Twlight, Wheel of Time Book 10. Sa wakas!!

Pisses me off that there are so very few chapters about Mat. about three or so lang. Kainis! I'd be perfectly happy if R.J. writes more about Mat, but then again I'm rather thankful that he did include Mat in this book unlike what he did in book 8 where Mat was only mentioned but wasn't really in the story at all.

I can’t believe the bloody prologue’s 82 pages long!

I somewhat can appreciate Faile nowadays. The first time I read about her and Perrin she just plain pissed me off. Now though, hmmm, let’s just say she doesn’t get on my nerves as Cadsuane and Elaida do.

Anyways, I'll get back to reading. I'm half done with the book. And here I just bought it yesterday. hehehe!

~ ~ ~

Seika: can I pls have my WoT Book 1 back na? And any other of my books that you have there? Plus the cds? Or just tell me which ones are with you kasi I'm gonna do an inventory of my cds, books and other stuff next week. About the David pic, thanks. Any suggestions how I could make it better?

Ana: Gomen, still haven't finished editing and adding to 5.3... naiinis ako kay Rus right now e so I don't wanna add anything to that, baka pag-awayin ko lang yung dalawa hehehe...

QT Emski: Natuloy ba kayo ni Clai kina Guids? How was it? Gomen talaga di me nakasama.

Russell still evades all my attempts to sketch him. I'm already getting pissed. I think I need a break. I've been drawng almost daily for the past several days and my hands already hurt. I still haven't colored any of those drawings too. I'm somewhat dreading that ordeal.

Watched the episode of Smallville last night. I agree with Ems and Jean, I like Lex more than I do Clark. Hell, I don't even like Clark that much. He may be the main protagonist but he just isn't as interesting as his future arch nemesis is. I also don't like Lana that much. Sure she's pretty, but I like Chloe's (sp?) personality more. She's much more dynamic and in terms of believability, she scores higher than Lana does.

Anyways, Got this link from an email sent to me by a friend. Gawd, that's kinda creepy! How does it do that?! http://www.cyberglass.co.uk/FlashEx/mindreader.html

Was watching some episodes of Justice League recently. Just when I started to think that Superman’s a really lame super hero, I heard the song “Superman” by Five For Fighting. I guess the song changed my opinion, somewhat. Even though he may be a super hero, I concede that the guy’s still a man. He isn’t perfect. He’s not supposed to be perfect. Even super heroes can’t be expected to be faultless. Otherwise they’ll be very boring to watch/read.

Saw “Maid in Manhattan” with my mom last Sunday. Three words to describe it: feel good movie. That’s all I can really say about it. The plot’s nothing new, just another romantic comedy. Rich guy meets poor girl, they fall in love, conflict arise, they surpass it, and they marry. It’s an ok film, I guess. Nice to watch when you feel too tired and bored with life in general. Date film. Was slightly surprised though that they didn’t have J.Lo sing anything for the soundtrack. I guess that it’ll be too much already if she still sang the theme song too. Does the movie have a theme song, btw?

Was finally able to make a group pic for Illusion. Drew the three girls together, sitting on a couch. Took me quite a while doing it. Wasn’t planning to draw it that way but it seemed like my hand had a life of its own coz it just up and started drawing things I didn’t plan on drawing. I actually started that pic trying to draw Faye and Rus, but Rus still doesn’t want to get drawn for some reason and instead of him, I drew Anna. And then lastly, I sketched in Tin. Weird. Had a really hard time sketching Anna’s face. The whole expression just kept going awry, but I had fun drawing her hair though. Tin was the easiest to sketch since I didn’t have to go full body on her.

Trying to draw the three guys together now. Done with David. He’s an angel to draw. He magically appears on the piece of paper like I don’t have to expend any amount of effort to put him there. James I had a bit of a hard time with coz he kept wanting to frown when I wanted to draw him smiling, and Rus still keeps transforming into either David or Dennis *sighs* Why the bloody hell doesn’t that guy want to get sketched?!

What I was able to watch in the news today:

- A boy suffering cancer got his wish fulfilled. He was made into a member of the PNP. And here I thought no one today dreamed of becoming a police officer anymore considering the bad image they have in the country.
- The ABS-CBN coverage of the rally in our town last Friday. Yes, the rally was held on Friday last week and they only aired it now.
- An Iraqi, still quite young, is readying for war. His whole family is. When asked how his neighbors feel about his having his own firearms, he said that instead of fearing him, they actually admired and liked him more. I guess given that their reason is that they’re gonna defend their country, their home, their neighbor’s reaction to him is a valid sentiment.

Wanted to have a copy of this but didn't want to save it on my hard disk so I put it here. Saves space and makes for an interesting post, heheh!

MOLES ON THE BODY
1. Throat - An artistic temperament, successful.
2. Chest - Lazy, unsteady, quarrelsome, financially unsound.
3. Breast (right) - Indolent, intemperate.
4. Breast (left)-Active, energetic.
5. Nipple - Fickle and unfaithful.
6. Ribs (right) - Insensitive, cowardly.
7. Ribs (left) - Lazy, humorous.
8. Navel - Great good fortune.
9. Abdomen - Voracious, intemperate and self-indulgent. Should marry someone placid.
10. Hips - Resourceful, valiant and over-amorous.
11. Loins - Mendacious.
12. Groin (right) - Ill health.
13. Groin (left) - Frail.
14. Thigh (right) - Wealth and a happy marriage.
15. Thigh (left) - A warm temperament.
16. Knee (right) - Friendly disposition and happy marriage.
17. Knee (left) - Rash, extravagant, ill-tempered but good business sense.
18. Leg (right) - Energetic and preserving.
19. Leg (left) - Lazy.
20. Ankle - A sharing nature, a sense of humor.
21. Heel - Mentally and physically active. Should beware of making enemies.
22. Foot (right) - Loves traveling.
23. Foot (left) - Thoughtful and gloomy; prefers a sedentary life.
24. Instep - Athletic, quarrelsome.
25. Neck - Many ups and downs. Should be frugal.
26. Shoulder blades - Unhappiness.
27. Shoulder (left) - Easily satisfied.
28. Shoulder (right) - Prudent discreet, faithful and restless.
29. Armpit (left) - Good fortune won by hard work.
30. Armpit (right) - Struggles against heavy odds.
31. Arm (right) - Adversity in early life, contentment in old age.
32. Arm (left) - Courteous, industrious.
33. Elbow - Great talent, great desire to travel.
34. Wrist or hand (right) - Frugal, successful in business.
35. Wrist or hand (left) - Ingenious, artistic.
36. Finger - Dishonest, prone to exaggerate,unable to face reality.
37. Back - Frank with an inquiring mind. Should be cautious.
38. Buttocks - Total lack of ambition.

MOLES ON THE FACE

Moles on the middle of the forehead reveal a bad-tempered disposition and potential cruel nature. Such people should guard against accidents in their middle age.

Mole on the left temple indicates a tendency to be spendthrift and horsetrong. The person should try to live a quiet life.

Mole on the right temple indicates exceptional ability. The person should guard against illness in later life.

Mole on or near the eyebrows belongs to preserving person who is happy in marriage. This person bewares of lightening and food poisoning.

Mole on or near the corner of the eye. An honest and forthright person who needs to be loved.

Mole on inside and outside of the ear. The person has wealth and fame but tends to be reckless.

Mole on the left cheek. A serious, studious and struggling person.

Moles on the right cheek promise a successful life after marriage.

One mole on each cheek indicates success after hard struggle.

Mole on the upper side of the nose denotes lust and extravagance.

Moles on the left side of the nose (middle) indicate a changeable nature.

An untrustworthy but lucky person who should be bewares of falls.

Moles on the right side of the nose (middle) shows a great traveling urge, an outdoor occupation involve plenty of movement.

Mole on the tip of the nose indicates a sincere friend though very outspoken.

A mole on the nostrils is a sign of a rover.

Mole on the lips signifies greed but benevolence.

Mole on the lower lips shows a quiet and studious nature. Good fortune is indicated in later life.

Moles on the chin show conscientious, common sense and artistic ability. These people make the best of any opportunities and improve a lot with age.

Mole on the left lower jaw indicates a critical nature. Beware of ill health.

Mole on the right lower jaw shows danger. You should beware of fire and water in your youth.

Been drawing for Illusion again the pst few days. So far I've only succeeded making solo and full body pics, in various poses for David and James. Mostly David's actually. Tried making Rus but he keeps transforming into David for some reason... *sighs* Seika will be thrilled when I finally finish coloring said David drawings.

It takes me about an hour to actually finish sketching, thirty minutes to trace using well, tracing paper, about twenty minutes applying ink on the traced image, and lastly erasing the pencil marks. Then I scan the inked image and tried applying colors using Adobe Photoshop. I'm thinking of using water colors or poster ink instead of the Photoshop coz I do find it easier. I wanted to buy a set of markers but the ones I saw at our local National Bookstore were a tad bit too expensive and kulang yung dala kong pera. Hope my dad sends the colored markers I asked him to buy. Hope he buys the right kind. Nagbilin kasi akong ibili nya ako nun e kasi paniguradong marami dun. Markers plus various tipped pens and tones.

Anyways, that's what I've been up to lately.

That and going to the rally against drugs that was held yesterday. The rally was organized by our parish priest, in a sort of answer to what happened to Jinky, that 4th grader I wrote about before who got raped and killed. They buried her yesterday. It was supposedly covered in the local news but I dunno which station showed it. I went home early and didn't anymore finish the whole rally/program that they organized coz no one was home, I technically went home to guard the house. Plus I didn't really feel like going in the first place. At least not that day. Felt, I dunno, tired. And the whole thing was just too organized for a rally... I dunno... didn't very much appeal to me, the idea I mean. I guess people I saw there were having too much of a good time to actually look like they're supposed to be there to protest about something.

another quiz... this one takes me back thru years... ahhh, those lovely lovely days when we were still very young. Not that I'm saying I'm not young anymore, but I'm not that young anymore.

	Friend Bear You are everyone's ideal friend because you are sincere and genuinely kind. Sometimes you worry about your friends' problems so much, you forget about your own responsibilities, which can get you into trouble. For you, it's the little things that really count. You also happen to be the main driver of the Cloud Car. No speeding!
Take the Which Care Bear Are You? Quiz!

just trying this out...


Congrats! Youre a pointillism! A little odd if
taken piece by piece but once someone gets to
see the whole you, theyre sure to love it!
(Artist of This Style: Georges Seurat)


Which Painting Style Are You?
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Ha! it worked! Just got tired of putting these quizzes on my Killer's Rant index page. I'll probably still put it there later but right now, well, KR's still down. Trying to look for a new home for it sides freewebs. Freewebs stinks!!! Well, I guess nothing's really for free these days.

Ever done something that you know is utterly futile but you still do it anyway just because it captured your fancy? I’ve done several. Among them is: trying to understand a French film by reading Japanese subtitles. I mean, I can read hiragana, I still get confused with katakana, and I’m familiar with less than fifty kanji characters, so even when I can more or less understand spoken Japanese, those subtitles were way beyond my league. Too bad since the film was really nice, from what I understood ^^; Another’s trying to get a songout of my head by trying to find a copy of it when I don’t even know its title nor who sang it in the first place, what’s worse, the song’s in Chinese.

AXN’s showing Saiyuki again. I’m gonna wait for Homura to show up in the series, then I’ll watch it again. Need I say I like Homura? Why? Coz the guy’s a god. Literally.

Gotta get either a cd writer or a bigger hard disk space. I’m down to less than five gigs. Wala lang…

An interesting question:

"How will our universe end?"

The answer I found:

"Recent speculation now includes a pervasive growing field of mysterious repulsive energy that rips virtually everything apart. Although the universe started with a Big Bang, analysis of recent cosmological measurements allows a possibility that it will end with a Big Rip. As soon as few billion years from now, the controversial scenario holds, dark energy will grow to such a magnitude that our own Galaxy will no longer be able to hold itself together. After that, stars, planets, and then even atoms might not be able to withstand the expansive internal force. Previously, speculation on the ultimate fate of the universe centered on either a re-collapsing Big Crunch or a Big Chill. Although the universe's fate is still a puzzle, piecing it together will likely follow from an increased understanding of the nature of dark matter and dark energy."

If anybody's still alive during this, I'll envy him or her. I wanna be there, right at the front row watching coz it'll be one hell of a show!

Ate four strawberries, two bananas, a mango, an orange, half an apple, and a glass of pineapple juice for breakfast. Now how did I get all of that in? Simple. I blended them all together and drank the whole mixture from 1030 am till around past lunchtime. So technically I had brunch, not breakfast. Tasted good. Couldn’t distinguish which fruit I was tasting, but it was still nice.

Btw, noticed how my recent posts have been about death? There’s a reason to this. I want to get depressed. Seems all my creative juices come out when I feel down.

Case in point: when I lost my very first cell phone I was able to draw David Wesley, a character in Ana-nechan’s story, Illusion. David was the first of six sketches that became how the six main characters of Illusion look like. David, who I consider my baby since he was the first I drew that night, looks absolutely stunning! He looks like a god. Just ask Seika if you don’t believe me. ^_~

So I wanna stay depressed. I’m continually playing my favorite instrumental songs, from PSME, Escaflowne, NTHT, and a few choice pieces from Lodoss, Gravitation, HxH, GSaiyuki, and yes, even got Gackt in there somewhere. Just so I can stay feeling down in the fricking dumps.

Did I mention before that I’m an extremely weird girl? Well, now at least you have an idea why.

I am bloody fed up at trying to make that stupid thing appear!

Never mind me. Just trying out something and it isn't working. Keeps giving me error messages. I know I did it right, but apparently I haven't so I'll bloody have to do it again. Oh bother! We'll see. If I don't figure out how to do that thing here I won't just give up and get rid of the idea. I've worked on it too much (about half a day) to give up now. I wasn't told that I was stubborn and mule-headed for nothing! ^^;

I was taking my usual “extended shower” when I thought about the ritual of giving and receiving flowers. I realized that I’m not particularly keen about receiving flowers, especially the store-bought ones that come inside decorated transparent plastic holders or boxes. I have no qualms about flowers that come still attached to their respective plants, in a pot or whatever container, but flowers from shops are just plain distasteful.

I especially dislike roses bought from shops. Don’t get me wrong for I like how roses look. I’d love to have my personal rose garden. Roses are very pretty, very delicate. They’re rather complex flowers that I used to really like when I was in 5th grade, especially white roses. I still somewhat do, but I don’t particularly enjoy receiving them in bouquets.

There’s a reason to this, of course. The smell of roses, although I admit, somewhat pleasant, also remind me of death.

My maternal grandmother’s wake was held at our house, and I remember rather clearly that I helped out arranging the dozens upon dozens of roses – white, red, yellow, and pink – to be put beside her coffin as decorations. So all throughout the wake, which lasted maybe three days, I smelled the unending aroma of at least a hundred roses.

Decaying roses. Those roses were technically dead, having been plucked from the vegetation that kept them alive. Being kept looking fresh by chemicals, just like my grandma was with embalming fluid. Dead. Preserved, yes. But still assuredly dead.

So I guess that’s the reason why when asked what my favorite flower is, when in the past I’d instantly say that I love white roses, now I hesitate first and really try to think about what I should answer to that question. I still haven’t decided exactly what my favorite flower is.