Chipped my tooth

Yesterday. Again. Le sigh... so yeah, I went to the dentist, but not my old one. Mary Rose's clinic's closed so had no choice but try out Tita Betty's recommended dentist, Dr. Duenas. Am I glad I went there! Not only did he get my chipped tooth fixed in less than an hour, but I barely felt him doing anything. I usually get a traumatizing experience when I visit my regular dentist, plus she charges so high. Dr. D is exactly the opposite. He did tell me to get braces though.

Yeah. Braces. Me. Jeez... and yeah, I agree, I do need braces for my upper central and lateral incisors. So I am seriously thinking of getting them. You see my teeth are insanely small and my upper central incisors normally have this large horrible gap between them which my regular dentist tried to remove with braces back when I was still in high school and that she hides by placing pasta on it. So yeah, I’ve had braces before and they HURT and were such an inconvenience that I just don’t understand why others with perfectly good teeth structure would want to have them. I just don’t get the mind set that if one’s wearing braces one’s considered rich and ‘in’. I just don’t. But me, yeah I NEED them to correct my teeth. Can't do anything about their size but at least I can have the gap removed, right? But dang, just the idea of living with those things for more than a year again... gah -_-

Testing

Hey! It actually works! Heheh...

Had the day off from duty coz of the EDSA 1 anniv. Ang sarap ng tulog ko, grabe!!! Lagi na lang kulang tulog ko so when I can sleep in I take full advantage. Later mom, Ate My and I are planning on watching Memoires of a Geisha. Yosh! Ang ayoko lang e gusto ata ni Ate My panuorin yung Close to You... Gah @-@ So ewan pano niyan kami mamya. Basta I wanna watch MoaG. Hope the movie's as good as the book.

Tito Toto's out of the hospital na. His CT Scan result showed that he has a minor thrombus formation on his neural blood vessel, dunno which coz I wasn't there when the doctor came and explained things to them and mom doesn't know exactly where either. His prognosis is good kasi nga naagapan. His doctor said pwede pa maalis yun without surgery, kailangan lang ng meds and for Tito to watch his dietary intake. Also to up the exercise. Hayy, buti na lang talaga.

Worried a bit about my mom. Almost 1 month the cough niya. Intermittent kasi e, pabalik-balik. Mawawala for a week tapos biglang meron nanaman. Told her to up the Vit.C intake and make sure she drinks multivitamin para tumaas resistensya niya as well as asked her to have herself examined kasi takot ko baka maging RHD naman sa kanya kasi nga throat niya laging affected... kaso yun, ang tigas ng ulo, magkapatid nga sila ni Tito kasi ayaw nagpapatingin sa doctor. Jeez...

Nga pala, Ana-nechan!! Congratz on your new job!!! ^___^

Tin, magparamdam ka naman! Ano ng balita sayo?

Still have to make my NCP

Kaso tamad pa ko to think ano nursing diagnosis applicable dun sa patient ko last week so eto, wasting precious time - not in sleeping and making my requirements - reading my friends blogs and answering this online quiz:

You Are Artemis!

Brave, and a natural born leader. You're willing to fight for what you believe in... And willing to make tough decisions. Don't forget - the people around you have ideas too!

What Goddess Are You?

I wanted Athena or Persephone, but then Artemis is a pretty cool goddess too so yeah I like the result I got though I don't agree with the interpretation too much.

This is one time I totally hated to be right.

Yesterday when I got home, mom told me to check Tito Toto’s BP. Seems he hasn’t been feeling well for the last couple of days. He complained of malaise, of his thought process slowing down, of forgetting what he was about to say or that he was holding something and actually dropping whatever it is he’s holding, and of feeling numbness in his extremities. I did a PA/NA on him, asking him questions, trying to see what he could be suffering from. As I talked to him, heard what ailed him, I kept thinking and at the same time hoping it wasn’t CVA.

Then this morning I heard from mom that Tita Pes told her that Tito’s face ‘drooped’ the other night, and my suspicions only heightened. I insisted for Tito to get examined, have his blood, urine, etc and ECG readings checked. But I mostly told my mom that Tito should have his CNS and cardiovascular system checked cause all signs pointed to a possible stroke attack.

And like I said, this is one time I wish I wasn’t right. The Dr. Tioleco advised mom and Tita Pes to have Tito confined at the hospital for observation and to make sure he won’t have a stroke. Mom said the doctor’s referring him to a neurologist, and that it was good that he went for a checkup today coz it seems there really is a high possibility for him to suffer from a stroke if di naagapan. Haaaay. Shit.

One part of me is glad that my studies seem to have paid off somewhat, that because of my suspicions about my uncle's condition he is now getting treatment to prevent any worse complications from developing; but another part of me feels frustrated and angry and depressed that I can't do more than that. Gawds, it's frustrating to not be able to do anything to actually cure people the way doctors do. I wanna be able to legally treat people. I wanna be able to do more for them, not just do nursing diagnoses that are mostly just for palliative care.

Okay, fine. Prevention is better than cure, and I'm glad that through my physical assessment of my uncle I've been able to advise and make him agree to going for his checkup with his doctor, but shit... I hate the feeling that that's the only thing I can do for him. Shit, shit, SHIT!

This just makes me think that I need to study more. Maybe when I graduate, when I get a high enough paying job that will be able to support me and my family, I'll go to night classes and take up medicine.

Then again, when I think about the kind of responsibility doctors have, the fact that peoples' lives literally are on their hands, I get petrified. I don't want to be directly responsible in treating someone, what if I make a mistake? What if the patient dies? Then again, that could happen too with nurses, right? A little bit of miscalculation with the drug dosage or route of administration, or positioning a patient incorrectly, or... just the minutest of mistakes can cost someone their life. Thinking about it that way just makes me more scared, and mostly that's part of what drives me to study harder, so I'd know what I should do whatever the situation may be. I know that I still don't know a lot of things, and gawds... it rankles me that I don't know those things so I can cure people I know and care for.

Johari's Window

Got this from Charles Tan's LJ. I know you guys must be familiar with this since you took up Psych. It's actually just an another excuse to fish for some compliments lolz ^_^ But yeah, please click on the link?

Been a while

Though it hasn't even been a week, ne?

I've been busy making our group thesis proposal. Don't worry, my groupmates are okay, they're doing their part of the work so no complaints there. We've actually has a sleepover here at home yesterday. Well, Sieg didn't sleep; Ronnel refuses to admit that he did fall asleep and start snoring; Hazel got 3 hours; while I managed and hour and a half. We didn't finish the proposal, kulang pa ng "data analysis" but it's mostly done.

Had our Stat midterms na. Was kinda okay, the test. Heard from Lucia what our prelim grade was and it kinda makes me happy for myself but sad for my classmates. You guys know I've taken Stat at AdMU so this is more like a review for me now, but my classmates are finding it hard... just like I did when I was taking it the first time in Carascoso's class with Guids and the gang. Guess I better try to help those kids out. At least man lang yung mga ka-close ko para magawa nilang panghatak pataas sa grade nila sa majors.

Oh, and I owe Aileen a greeting:

BELATED HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

Sensya na I wasn't able to greet you on the day itself.

You fit in with: Taoism Your ideals mostly resemble those of the Taoist faith. Spirituality is the most important thing in your life. You strive to live by all of your ideals, and live a very intellectually focused life. 40% spiritual. 20% reason-oriented.

Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com

A Taoist? Me? Di ba all about balance and harmony sila? Yin and yang and all that? Well, I can accept that.

After you die... Heaven After death, you will exist in heaven. Everything and everyone you love will constantly surround you for all of eternity. You lucky scoundrel.

Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com

Hay nako, sana nga magkatotoo. But I don't wanna die yet. Life's too fun and full of things I still want to learn and see. Later na heaven.

Updates

Haay, ang hirap ng di pa gamay ang software na asa new laptop. Named it Genrou Jr. heheh, smaller version kasi. Should’ve named it something else but was too lazy to think of another name and Kakashi or Shigure just didn’t sound nice for a computer. Maybe I should’ve chosen Hiei. Small. Black. Fast. Darn... should’ve named it Hiei.

Anyways, I’ve posted some new links in the side bar and uploaded some new pics in Flicker. Here’s a sample:



From left to right: Jovelle, Lucia, Mirra, Roy, Ronnel, Kristel, Michelle, Kristine, Diana, Mylene, Sir Sese, Nickyed, and yours truly whose shirt looks like it belongs to a detergent bar/powder commercial coz of the sunlight. We're at the 2nd floor of the library ruins at the Mariveles Mental Ward, this was shot during the our 3rd day of duty. Btw, they’re my R.L.E. groupmates for this semester. Hope they’ll still be my groupmates during summer coz they’re pretty great people to work with ^_^ Yes, yes... despite a few minor irritating habits a few of them have which I refuse to rant about in here coz Lucy knows the url for this blog and visits it sometimes.

Random Things

Here are two of my most favorite songs, both from the animated film “Prince of Egypt”:

When You Believe

Many nights we've prayed
With no hope anyone could hear.
In our hearts a hopeful song we barely understood.

Now we are not afraid
Although we know there's much to fear.
We were moving mountains long before we knew we could.

Chorus
There can be miracles when you believe.
Though hope is frail,it's hard to kill.
Who knows what miracles you can achieve
When you believe.
Somehow you will,
You will when you believe.

In this time of fear,
When prayer so often proved in vain,
Hope seemed like the summer birds
so swiftly flown away.
But now I'm standing here(Now I'm standing here)
With heart so full I can't explain
Seeking faith and speaking words I never thought I'd say.

Repeat Chorus.

~0~0~0~

Through Heaven's Eyes Lyrics

A single thread in a tapestry
though its color brightly shines
can never see its purpose
in the pattern of the grand design
and the stone that sits up on the very top
of the mountain's mighty face
does it think that it's more important
than the stones that forms the base
So how can you see what your life is worth
or where your value lies
ohhhh, you can never see through the eyes of man
you must look at your life
look at your life through heaven's eyes
lai-la-lai...through heaven's eyes(2X)
A lake of gold in the desert sand
is less than a cool fresh spring
and to one lost sheep, a shepard boy
is greater than the richest king
should a man lose everything he owns
has he truly lost his worth
or is it the beginning
of a new and brighter birth
So how do you measure the worth of a man
in wealth or strength or size
in how much he gained or how much he gave
the answer will come to ya
to look at his life through heaven's eyes
lai-la-lai...through heaven's eyes(2X)
and that's why we share all we have with you
though there's little to be found
when all you've got is nothing
there's lots to go around
No life can escape being blown about
by the winds of change and chance
and though you never know all the steps
you must learn to join the dance
you must learn to join the dance
lai-la-lai...through heaven's eyes(repeat until fade)


~0~0~0~


Just some Questionnaires I’ve filched from other people’s blogs:

(from Amanda's Blog)

1. if you could build a second house anywhere, where would it be?
= Tagaytay, Baguio or Bataan… anywhere with a mountain and sea view?

2. your favorite article of clothing:
= my blue and white striped tank top and my old taek won do pants that I love to sleep in.

3. what time do you wake up in the morning?
= Between 1 to 3 am Mondays to Saturdays and 730am on Sundays.

4. what's your favorite kitchen appliance?
= Refrigerator ^_^

5. if you could play any instrument, what would it be?
= cello

6. would you prefer a sports car or a suv?
= SUV... more space

7. do you believe in life after death?
= Yeah, but that doesn’t mean I won’t try to make the most out of the one I have now.

8. favorite childrens' book?
= Any fairy tales anthology

9. what's your favorite season?
= Autumn, although we don’t have that here in the Philippines

10. if you could have one superpower, what would it be?
= Conjuring up anything I need with a thought

11. can you cook well?
= Yep ^^

12. can you juggle?
= Not well enough to save my life

13. what person from the past would you talk to?
= Albert Einstein

14. what is you favorite day?
= Sunday coz I can sleep in

15. what's in the trunk of your car?
= Don’t have a car of my own

16. which do you prefer, sushi or hamburger?
= hamburger

17. what's your favorite flower?
= White roses

18. favorite ice cream flavor?
= Mint chip

19. butter, plain or salted popcorn?
= Cheese, heheh

20. favorite color?
= red

21. what kind of car do you drive?
= See #15, but I know how to drive

22. if you could go anywhere, where would you go?
= All across Europe, sightseeing and the culture is just neat

23. favorite brand of clothing?
= none

24. where were you born?
= Apalit, Pampanga, Philippines... at least officially heheh ^^ Come to think of it, I was born in St. Francis Medical Center, in the now City of San Fernando, Pampanga.

25. favorite sport to watch?
= Soccer!!! Real Madrid!!! Iker Casillas!!! Waaaaaaiiii!!!

26. coke or pepsi?
= Iced tea

27. morning person or night owl?
= Considering I awake nearly after midnight, does that make me an super early morning person or an extremely late night owl?

28. what did you want to be when you grew up?
= Didn’t really have a dream career when I was younger, although I do still dream about becoming a best-selling, price-winning novelist, but now i'm gonna be a nurse.

29. what size of shoe do you wear?
= 7.5 or 8 or even 9, depends on the brand and shoe type and design

30. what are you doing right now?
= Supposedly editing our case study for cancer.


~0~0~0~

(from Cheena's)


1) Using your current first initial, choose a different name for yourself:
= Can’t think of any other name that starts with an F that doesn’t sound cloyingly feminine. Ah what the heck, maybe Francesca? That way I can say I was named after my dad.

2) If you were born outside of your era, when would you want to be born and why?
=

3) If you ran a store, what would you sell/have?
= books and all other available reading materials

4) What part in a movie would you love to play?
= strong female lead

5) In your opinion, why do people suck?
= coz they can be soooo inconsiderate of others and too self-absorbed

6) If you had your own state, what would you put on your new quarter?
= a momiji leaf

7) What's the oldest article of clothing you own?
= my aunt’s 70s striped shirt

8) What piece of furniture have you replaced the most?
= bed

9) What instrument do you wish you could be great at?
= cello, piano, violin, guitar, flute, drums... in that order

10) Record, Tape or CD?
= CDs

11) What do you think would be the best concert ever?
= not that into concerts, hmmm... maybe josh groban’s?

12) What is the best part of your favorite movie(s)?
= scenes that make me cry or have goosebumps however many times I’ve already watched the film..

13) What do you think is the most over-rated candy ever?
= Not that into candies... more into chocolates and so far I’ve not hated one I’ve tried

14) If you were writing out your will, who would you give your music/book collection to?
= music? Hmmm... Ana
= manga? Tin or Ana
= nursing books? Aileen or Camille
= novels? Hmmm... some local library maybe? Or whichever of my friends who’d like them

16) Out of your LJ friends, who would you say you are most jealous of artistically?
= I don’t use LJ

17) Most jealous of... intellectually?
= Sir Farley about nursing, Nickyed kapag pathophysio na ang usapan, Grace at Nhey at Mirra sa memorization, but am not that bad when it comes to the brain aspect so... *shrug*

18) What do you collect?
= books mainly. Art materials like paint brushes. OSTs, movies, coins, stamps, CDs, stuff.

19) What is broken that you have, that you wish was fixed?
= my brain! Lolz, kidding. Umn, my super sluggish metabolism?

20) What do you do when you're home sick?
= Exactly what I do when I don’t want to feel bored, I read.

21) Story behind your username?
= feifu? Errr, my SSA HS classmates gave that nickname to me after they heard it in a piece from speech class in 1st year. It stuck.

22) Current Favorite Article of Clothing?
= knee length shirt I can sleep and walk around the house in

23) Line from the last thing you wrote for someone?
= “Pauli na ku, ma.”

24) A famous person you have met?
= errr... what’s their name again? I’m really bad with names despite them being supposedly well-known

25) Favorite way to waste/spend time?
= Read. Write. Read. Surf net. Download manga. Read.

26) Last thing you bought yourself?
= a bottle of mineral water


~0~0~0~

"The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it. Resist it, and your soul grows sick with longing for the things it has forbidden to itself."--Oscar Wilde

Really?! Somehow yielding to my urge to gobble up all the chocolates in the world doesn't sound like such a good idea -_______________-

Oh, btw... Tito Susing gave me a brand new laptop yesterday afternoon after he came from the airport ^_^ Weheh, Genrou has competition lolz ^_^

Tragedy

I particularly like Fr. Larry's homily today. He talked about the stampede at Ultra, how tragic it was that so many people died. But what was more tragic, he claimed, is that this was a picture of Filipinos, of our state as a country. That

1)this country's authorities have no system or whatever system's there is corrupt;
2)we lack discipline; and
3)there are just too many poor people because of 1 and 2.

What he said isn't news. But I think people needed to hear it to wake up. We always blame the government for every wrong thing, and never think we, our own actions, are also to blame.

Haaay... being in the hospital wards, I get to talk to our patients' S.O.s and their constant problem is a financial one. At times it's sad to see patients who are already well but couldn't go home because they don't have the money to pay for their hospital bills. Or that they couldn't be given the meds they need at the time they need it coz again they don't have enough money to buy medicines. Or have laboratory tests performed, or just to eat. It's worse when the patient is an infant; to hear the child's mother complain that she's ran out of breast milk because she hasn't eaten because they have no money to buy food and none to buy the child some milk formula... it's just really sad.

Wish I had more money to give away, to just help them all, but I don't. I don't have a job yet, I'm not earning anything since I'm just a student. So I try to do my best in studying so I'd get to find a good job that pays good money so I'd be able to not worry about my and my family's state and still be able to help others. But it still breaks my heart several times to encounter people like that, and there are just too many who are that hard up.

I think I'm getting a lot more used to the routine now, I don't feel so nervous or like a fish out of water when I'm handling patients. It's actually somewhat relaxing to be inside a hospital. I definitely like it better there than when we have to go to school for classes. Less stress. Of course that's just because we're assigned at the various wards and not at the OR, ER or DR. Well, the DR's not that stressful a place coz it's fairly easy to help out in delivering babies, the mothers do almost all of the work really ^^0

Got a lot of requirements to pass next week. Reports, case study, unit test, various quizzes, also have to make NCPs for my patients the past three days, and find a current trend for cancer.

Speaking of cancer... our case study's about M.M., a 27y/o woman who has had spinal CA since she was 19. Her case is terminal, she cannot walk anymore, she needs daily blood transfusion, and she takes such a high dose of morphine coz she's in constant pain. She's so hard to talk to and so unapproachable but I can't seem to feel any irritation about that coz I mostly just feel sympathy for her. Her prognosis isn't good at all, and though she's fighting the disease, it's easy to see that she and her family are mostly just waiting for the end to come. She chemotherapy, radiation, and all other available medical treatments are not longer working for her. Sad really, to think her mother told us that she used to be so vibrant, even competed in some local beauty contests and actually won. *sigh* I wouldn't know what to do if I were in her shoes.