Random thoughts/messages:

- I cannot help but think of the original Non-Stop gang whenever I see Jung Nara these days.

- From what I’ve seen of it, I already hate Marmalade Boy live action. Yes, even if it stars Ken. It reminds me too much of Vic’s the Poor Prince and I bloody hated that series. Don’t they get it? It just doesn’t work… that weird anime humor does not work as well when real live actors are the ones playing the characters. Or maybe it’s just the dubbing… I dunno. I don’t really care. ‘Nuff said.

- No class today!!! Except I still have to go to school coz of a seminar. Bummer.

- Terry’s back! I just love the interaction between Terry and Bruce. Guids, di mo pa rin pinapahiram sakin yung the rest of the Batman Beyond series. Humph! Lolz

- Either I build another swordy or I go dodgy path and make a thief out of myself. Either way, I’m building a new character during the sem break. Note: During the sem break. Not now. Mag-fi-finals na e. heheh…

- I wanna make a wallpaper using the poem below, but couldn’t coz I got no decent picture to use. Been thinking of making one of Gem’s fave Neil G character, Death, or maybe Kira from AS… dunno though. Still have to find the perfect pic for it.

- Yehey! Reactivated na Dokoni!

- Ana-nee, di ko na alam gamitin Winamp! Ibang version na yung na download ko. Can’t find yung function na magli-list ng songs… WAH! Gomen. Looks like I’ll have to do it the long way. Pucha, 1000+ song yun!!!!!!!!! Oh no…

- Floe! Hello! Ala lang. Hahahahahah!!! Sensya na kung wrong timing lagi. Like Ems said, sleep over pRO wheheheh ^_^

- Have to go na. Have that seminar to go to, db? It’s at seven-bloody-fricking-thirty in the morning. Di pa ako naliligo!

DEATH, BE NOT PROUD
By John Donne

Death, be not proud, though some have called thee
Mighty and dreadful, for thou art not so;
For those whom thou think'st thou dost overthrow,
Die not, poor Death, nor yet canst thou kill me.
From rest and sleep, which but thy pictures be,
Much pleasure; then from thee much more must flow,
And soonest our best men with thee do go,
Rest of their bones, and soul's delivery.
Thou art slave to fate, chance, kings, and desperate men,
And dost with poison, war, and sickness dwell;
And poppy or charms can make us sleep as well
And better than thy stroke; why swell'st thou then?
One short sleep past, we wake eternally,
And death shall be no more, Death, thou shalt die.


Ah yes… finally found this blasted poem. I’ve been looking for it since I happened to watch a film called “Wit” on HBO.

I love that movie. It is so preciously profound.

Another movie I was able to watch recently was “Kung Ako na Lang Sana” featuring Sharon Cuneta and Aga Mulach. My mom bludgeoned us into going with her yesterday, and I really couldn’t say no since it’s either watch it or wallow in the heat of our house since walang kuryente samin the whole blasted day. My comments about the film? Eer… no comment na lang ako. Don’t wanna rant more this early in the morning (It’s around 8am right now).

It’s raining! Not only that, the rain’s accompanied by really loud ear cracking thunder.

COOL!!!

For those who know her, you can probably imagine where my mom is right now. Hiding inside the closet with her ears covered with a pillow. My mom’s TERRIFIED/PETRIFIED/SCARED-TO_DEATH with lightning and thunder. Which makes for an interesting combination when I’m added into the equation coz I LOVE looking at two said natural phenomenon. Isn’t lightning pretty? All that wonderful play of lights. And it has so much power too. Wish I could photograph ‘em but me mom wouldn’t even let me go out of the room when there’s any. Let alone open the windows for a sneak peek.

Am typing this up while trying to connect to the internet. Bloody thing keeps disconnecting me.

*** *** ***

I take it then that you’re a guy, right Floe?

I’m afraid the name sounds a bit feminine. Makes me think of Chloe… Neways, no offense intended; none taken I hope?

Ei, Floe would you do me a favor? I’m thinking of starting a new swordie… which I kinda want to evolve into a Vit or Int knight. More inclined to making a Vit knightess actually. Coz right now Mira’s more of an Agi build and I’m getting bored with her. Won’t delete her coz she’s my first RO character, but then, like I said, I’m kinda getting bored. Might replace her in the guild if I get to build up a Vit knight. Para may MATAAS ang life sa guild na pain sa kalaban so the rest can attack as they please. Kung baga sya mag initial attack sa higher up monsters tapos todasin na lang ng ibang mga ka-guild natin said monster. Course, she’ll prolly need a healer along with her so the monster won’t turn to the other guild members… Just a thought.


*** *** ***

Had another dream which featured Ken and Vaness. Won’t explain the dream further… but man! It was n-i-c-e ^_^

Saturday:

Whew! It’s over. Or at least I hope it is. He called, and told my mom he said goodbye to his other girl. So it’s done. He opted to stay with his family. Would it be wise now for him to tell what happened to his wife? I mean, I think the wife doesn’t have an idea he almost broke up with her. Does she deserve to know? Well, I think she does, but what good would telling her do? But wouldn’t it be worse if she found out from another source? Not like he already cheated her… well, technically he was cheating her coz he fell for another, but he said he didn’t touch that other girl, so…

Hay ewan!

***
Pissed off because a guild member got pissed off at me. Heheheh…

It does not help at all that I’m having my period while this thing happened. Hormones acting up and even little things like somebody’s pettiness bothers me to the full.

Seriously. Either I cry about it or hate the life out of that person or both.

What I do is just ignore the person. Ayokong pagpilitan ang sarili ko sa taong ayaw sa akin. Lalo na kung ayaw nya sakin kahit na wala akong ginagawang mali.

Thing about the whole deal is that it makes me wanna leave the guild. Pero I don’t want to coz I’d hate to be a quitter. And I owe the guild a /lot/. And I like most of them; they’re nice people. Except for… never mind. (Floe, don’t worry di ikaw to ^_^) I’d rather like to think that despite his/her age (notice that I don’t even wanna mention the gender…), that person could do a LOT of growing up pa. How bloody childish can you get?! Selfish git…

*sighs…* I’m ranting AND swearing again. Not good. *shakes head* Not good at all.

But the thing is, pretending that that person does not exist when I see the conversation going on with said person and another guild member on my screen is just plain shitty and somewhat futile. So I stay quiet.

Coz if truth be told, I’m just a victim of what happened. Someone asked for my help - not like I butted in their argument coz I wanted to or anything (the guy pm-ed me asking for help. I didn’t pm him giving advice unasked for. I didn’t even bloody know they were arguing when I came in for crying out loud) so I gave it. Made a small and honest mistake (sent message to wrong person), but no… that person had to take it the wrong way and get angry at me for trying to help out. All because I suggested something that could have helped the situation. And to think the suggestion was for that person’s benefit, not for the guy who asked me for help.

Better yet, instead getting increasingly pissed off at said person whiles playing my character, which immensely decreases the entertainment factor of playing the game, I’d just play another in the other server. Yes. That’s what I’ll do.

So people, in case you’re playing, look up Lingshan on the Loki server for free healing.

Yes, Lingshan’s an acolyte.

I’d be dead before I take up being an archer or a mage. Except for guild members and a few friends, I hate both jobs. Sobrang pissed off na ko sa mga sumasawsaw na walang kwentang mages at archers. Lalo na yung hihintayin ka pa nila na ikaw unang mag-attack saka sila sasawsaw tapos may gana pa silang magsabi na ako yung sawsaw! Kakapal!! Tapos mag-lo-loot pa! Bwisit! I’d be a merchant or a thief before I even think about taking up those other two jobs.

*** *** ***

Sunday:

Mom and I went to the burial of Mrs. Cecilla B. Jocson. She was 63 years old.

I didn’t know her. Well, I knew her from Church since mom had me ask her for blessing whenever we chanced to see her, but that’s all there was to it. My mom said she used to be a boarder at Mrs. Jocson’s boarding house in Moraita (sp?) during her college days. I didn’t know her personally.

So I didn’t want to go to the burial in the first place coz of that. But it was worth going coz I experienced something rather profound. At least for me it was.

You see, I normally dislike looking inside a coffin. I didn’t want to see the body inside knowing that whoever’s inside that expensive box is no longer alive. I wanted to remember the person as he or she was during his life, not what he/she looked like in death. This time though, for the first time, I looked.

I chided myself that it would be hypocritical of me not to look since the career path I’m choosing would eventually lead me to handling dead people at one time or another, so I did. As sort of a challenge to myself.

There was a picture atop the coffin of Mrs. Jocson featuring what she looked like in her younger days. She didn’t look anything like the body inside the coffin. But her body didn’t look bad. She looked like she was just sleeping. They said she died of a heart attack. Sudden and swift. Over in a few minutes. The person with her, I think it was one of her daughters, saw her stand up from a chair, take three slow steps, and then topple over… dead. It was the day after her birthday. Almost a year after her husband died.

I don’t know anyone from the family. But the whole aura of the place was light for a burial. Didn’t see anyone crying their eyes out. Not that they didn’t love the deceased, one could sense the affection they held for her, and the love. But their loss wasn’t a loss of a kind that was debilitating.

There were so many flowers, from different organizations and families that knew her. So many other guests too when we were there.

She had a good life.

And I’m envious of that.

When I die, which I hope won’t be anytime soon, I’d like my burial to be like that. I’d like to live a good life. I’d like to have a lot of people come for my funeral and know they would miss me but would and could continue with their lives. They’d remember me fondly. Cherish my memory in their hearts. And then get on with theirs.

***
Just something curious to take note of:

The light bulb at our home’s altar, the one overlooking the stairs, has been going off and on during the last two days. I woke up around 2 am the last two nights, was on my way to the bathroom when I noticed that the light was out. Then when I went out of the room again at four to get a cup of coffee downstairs, it was on.

My mom noticed it too. She had Ate change the bulb, thinking it was broken, but Ate told her the bulb was alright and was still usable. Then Mom told me she suddenly had goose bumps all over while passing by the altar today. She remembered that Tito Eddie’s - her now deceased eldest brother - birthday was coming up. Curiously, when mom said out loud that she hasn’t forgotten her brother and that she was continually praying for his soul everyday that she goes to mass, her goose bumps vanished and the light bulb at the altar got okay. I mean, it has yet to turn off by itself again at around midnight and turn itself back on.

***
Some quotes about death:

A funeral home I pass by on my way to school has this slogan that caught my eye: “Your journey to eternal life starts with us.”

"Grieve not for the dead, for the dead feel no pain... Instead, weep for the living, who heal to hurt again." --Unknown

“Your death will change nothing. But you can change something by living.”
“We struggle to live in order to die happily.”
- Genjyo Sanzo from Gensoumaden Saiyuki

"Peace is but a shadow of death,
Desperate to forget its painful past...
Though we hope for promising years
After shedding a thousand tears,
Yesterday's sorrow constantly nears
And while the moon still shines blue,
By dawn, it will turn to scarlet hue."
-- Kuja, "Final Fantasy IX"


*** *** ***

Monday:

Had another dream that I woke up from feeling like I went mountain hiking nonstop for a whole month. My whole body aches right now and I’ve a bit of a headache starting. Feels like I haven’t slept at all. But the dream was worth it.

This time, I was unsure of whether I was male or female in the dream. At one point, I was a guy, then at another, I was a girl. Didn’t seem odd; although the feeling that I was female was more prevalent than that of being a male.

Anyway, I was the younger sibling of a prince. Or at least I was connected to him and his family by birth and so people treated me like I was royalty as well.

The queen hated me, and I didn’t know exactly why; but she did hate me.

With the prince I had a love/hate relationship. I grew up with him, and we were rivals since childhood. But we were also friends.

The thing I most remember from the dream was the latter part, the scenes before I woke up.

There was some kind of revolution in the kingdom. I was hiding inside the palace, somewhere relatively safe. I was hiding not only from those revolting against the royal family, but I was also hiding from the queen and the prince.

Eventually, the prince found me. We fought. He had a sword with him and I had absolutely no weapons with me. Somehow, something unexplainable happened and I defeated him. He couldn’t take the idea that I bested him despite my lack of weaponry. He fled. Into the rioting crowds who saw him, recognized who he was, and tortured him.

I was scared. But I was more scared for him. Against my own safety, I went after him. I think I threw a hasty disguise on. I don’t remember what coz I was in a hurry. I wanted to save him. He may be my rival, but he was my also only true friend.

I came too late. He wasn’t dead. But he was dying. He had bruises all over and he was bleeding badly. I tried taking him to a doctor but he wouldn’t let me move him. He held on to my hand, then he took something from inside his shirt.

A ring.

Through the haze of blood covering his vision, he told me that he had wanted to give this ring to me.

You see, in that kingdom, the crown prince is given the right to choose his own bride. The symbol for that choice is a ring passed down through generations of crown-princes. His father, the king, gave the ring to him during his 7th birthday. The day I arrived in the palace. The day we first met. I was six. I lived in the palace since then, growing up as his companion.

And he told me, that his father told him that I was brought to the palace because our marriage had been arranged by both our fathers. His mother hated the idea because my mother was her rival. She taught him to hate me because of that. Told him that my being there would make him lose his freedom of choice. But then when we got older, he said that he had changed his mind about me.

How was I to react to that?

Here was a man I hated and loved with exact strength. My whole life revolved around him. And now he was dying.

I couldn’t cry. I didn’t cry.

I watched him die.

He was holding my hand until he was gone.

Then the queen came, along with dozens of guards. She saw me holding her dead son’s hand. I saw her point at me and scream something. The guards were coming; their faces grim.

That was when I woke up.

*** *** ***

Long post ne? Eto, dagdag pa:

Ana: I'll send you the list as soon as I get winamp. Kasi di ko alam gamitin tong player na naka-install and the filenames are somewhat obscure na di mo mage-gets kung anong kanta at sinong artist. Why ka nag-edit ng illu? Oks lang, sige lang, edit mo yan. Basta pagandahin mo, ne? Hehhe... oo nga pala, I'll try to color the kiss03 pic when another creative mood strikes me. Kasi between playing and my studies, wala na akong time for creative procrastination mwahahahah!!!

Ems: yes, yes... cute ka pa rin heheh la lang lolz Help me find a fin helm naman o?

Tin: syet! e di ang layo mo sa stage? ngak... oks lang! at least you were there, ne? musta school?

Floe: weheheh... just curious, kc sabi ni Boss Tama guy ka. Pero Floe name mo so doesn't that mean you're a girl? No offense intended. Just wanna make sure so I won't offend.

Lars: In case you actually find your way here... heheh, enjoy! This is the easiest way to find out how demented and weird I really am. Lolz ^_^ Thanks for signing my guestbook. Tag ka if u drop by.

Guido: Asan na website mo?! I wanna see our blog!

Clai: YUNG FF8 CDS KO!!!!!!!!!!!!! WAAAAAH!!!!!!!

Oh lord… I don’t like what happened today. Here I was just trying to help, and I think I just made things worse. Well, not my fault some people are /that/ close-minded and stubborn and downright idiotic…

Heheh, can’t help but think I’m like that too about certain things so I guess considering the consequences I couldn’t really blame that person. Pero nakakairita lang talaga ng konti. Konti lang naman. Konti.

Vibe doesn’t let me wanna go online right now so I’m relying on Infocom… which isn’t really any better since I get d/c almost every few minutes. Plus sobrang lag ang pRO coz of the bonus the GM Team incorporated coz of the rollback. Dami kong nawalang items but they weren’t really THAT important, medyo rare pero ok pa naman considering now I’ve got til Sunday to get rich and level up faster. Syet, ba’t di maglalag e umabot kaninang nakita ko ng 14.8k+ yung naglalaro sa Chaos! Chaos talaga sa Chaos... pucha, mamyang umaga na lang ako maglalaro... best time so far na day at oras maglaro is really early Monday mornings.

My… I actually got three non-pRO related posts in before this one? Hahahhaha!!!

Food!!! Love eating this salad I put together a while ago. It has lettuce, cucumber, bits of cooked ham, cubed smoked cheese, and sour cream dressing with a bit of salt and pepper for taste. Eat it with a freshly baked baguette… simply yummy heaven.

Either it’s really tasty or I’m just hungry coz I didn’t eat breakfast and lunch today…

Hmm... family troubles are a bitch. Tapos nadagdagan pa ng another party... syet... maghihiwalay kaya talaga sila? Looks it. Wawa naman yung kid. Ah... well.

Neechan, hirap kasi kung magseseparate sila e. Baka pabugbog nung family ng girl yung guy hahhahaha!!! He kinda deserves it. Kinda. Think you have an idea na who I'm talking about, right, Neechan?

Lolz... pino-problema ngayon ng mom ko, di nya alam what to tell them. Sya pa man din mainly hiningan ng payo nung gaging yun... puchaks! Mom ko naman nagtanong sakin, so eto ako't problem ko na rin.

Ang masama pa, ginagamit pa ako nung gagi na taga-tawag dun sa other girl... and my mom doesn't know! SHEEEEEEEEEEET!!!!!!! Labas nito kunsintidor pa ako. E anong magagawa ko, ang kulit nya?! And he's older than me so di ko mapagalitan masyado. Isipin mong tumawag pa sa cell para tawagan ko yung girlash nya?! E hindi naman ako kilala nung tao! Putik talaga oo...

Tin: kuha mo ba yung url ng illu site? how was the concert pala? di ka naman naipit or naulanan? bad experience ko sa mga ganyan e... *thinks of the Blue concert* sama talaga... and other time naman na pinuntahan ko na dami rin tao nung EDSA II hehehe... di kami halos makagalaw ni Guids nun!

Pero Guids, db nakarating tayo sa may stage nun? hahahaha!!!

Ei, guildmate! Still reading? lolz, mag-tag ka ha? hahahaah ^_^

Mom forced me to change the channel to ABSCBN tonight so she could watch the special F2 and Barbie.

Found it somewhat painfully pathetic to watch our own local artists so excited to meet and see Ken, Vaness, and Barbie. They didn’t at all act like they were popular local icons themselves, but acted like avid and unruly fans. It almost shames me to see them so thrilled. Nahihiya ako para sa kanila. I mean, come on, these visitors, however popular, are just people. They made so much of them that it had managed to lessen the already low image I have of our own local artists. It’s almost disgusting.

And Kris Aquino changing clothes before her interview with the two guys… did she really /have/ to show that much cleavage? Sure, it’s somewhat normal to see her wear something like that but how come she was wearing a different shirt during her interview with the two girls? A non-cleavage showing shirt whiles she might as well showed her soul every time she leaned forward while interviewing the two guys! I dunno, maybe it’s just me, but I found her whole attitude somewhat cheap. Parang sobrang desperada… sorry if there are any Kris fans here.

Anyway, on a non-F4 realated topic:

I find myself clicking personalities with one of my classmates. Well, mainly because we both like books and we've been exchanging books the past weeks. I like the guy. Not in a romantic way so don't even start the teasings please. But I like his brain. And character/personality. So far he's one of the two most mature guys in our class. He's from the US, so he's a bit liberal minded, but I love arguing with him. Fun. Wala lang.

Idealistically speaking, we marry for love. Why shouldn’t we? I mean, marriage is /supposed/ to be forever. It is a binding act that should be cut only during death. So we expect to literally grow old with the person we chose to marry.

But what if the couple fall out of love with each other? And they start to bicker and fight every single day; in front of their children too.

What’s better for the family then? What should they do?

I guess the couple could go through marriage counseling, but what if the couple started out marriage not truly in love with each other? What I mean by this is that what if they were forced to marry because the woman got pregnant? And what if they have different religions so that they did not have a Church wedding? And what if they both despise their in-laws and wouldn’t even try to get along with them? Then add the fact that one of them fell in love with another person whom the in-laws like…

All in all, the family the couple is trying to build has a none-too strong foundation.

Now, I’ve been wondering, because of recent revelations, what is best to do in this case. Fine, as I said, there is marriage counseling. But that doesn’t always work. What then?

Should the couple stick it out and maybe, just maybe, they could go past all these problems and still live together? All for the sake of their children; so that the kids could have both their parents as they grow. Bickering, non-too-loving-each-other parents, but both parents nonetheless.

Or…

Should the couple separate? At least then, they wouldn’t be forced to live with a person they are daily learning to hate. And in this particular case, since their child is still /very/ young, wouldn’t it be better for said child to grow up in a loving environment? The child wouldn’t have both his parents, true. But the child’s still too young to even understand. All the child sees daily are his parents fighting, and I doubt that would be good for the child.

My personal point of view in this, since I’m not married and am still quite idealistic, is that I’d rather choose the second option. But the thing is, I’m not the one who has to go through this. It’s someone I know and I’ve been asked by both sides for what I think I would do were I in their situation.

Which makes me remember what I said to /him/ << another guy I know… when he and I were talking about roughly the same situation. I did tell him that I wouldn’t marry him in the first place because I simply did not love him. Well, I loved him as a friend, but that’s just that. Not enough. He asked that what if we had a child, and he told me that he’d want to have a say in that child’s future simply because it’s his. I told him that he could have a say but that does not necessarily mean that I would marry him for the child’s sake.

Now all of this was just for argument’s sake. Because we probably had run out of things to talk about for that time, but now that I’m faced with another friend’s plight which is similar to what I’ve been arguing about with my other friend… now I don’t exactly know what to say.

I (September 2, 2003)

Funny. I wrote that I wouldn’t join and stay in a guild unless I knew the people in it; but I found myself getting invited once again in another guild and this time, I actually like the people in it even though I don’t know them. They’re pretty neat, help each other out. Been to twice on a party with them at the orc dungeon and payon caves, and all I can say is that it was fun. I acquired a personal body guard whose already a wizard, and he helps me out whenever he sees me having trouble with the monsters I’m trying to kill. Payon does not agree with me. I get killed half the time and I’m beholden on my guild mates for resurrecting me. Dami na akong utang na loob sa kanila, and thus, even though I don’t know them personally, I already feel loyalty to the guild because they’ve helped me out so much. Can’t make myself want to leave the guild kasi I’m having such a good time with them, plus sobrang wala akong utang na loob if I left.

I’m 5566 addicted. Wala akong crush sa kanila pero I like their songs hehehe. Naririndi na ata yung kapitbahay namin kasi every morning pagkagising ko yung OP & ED ng MMV una kong pinatutugtog. Hell, medyo memorized ko na nga e kahit di ako marunong ng Chinese.


***
II (September 2, 2003)

Another funny thing just happened.

You see, my trusty computer, Genrou or Genchan, was acting up the whole day today. He – should be it but I’m used to calling my pc a he – kept on rebooting without me doing anything. I mean, I was just either typing away or listening to music or trying to log on to Ragnarok when he just started up.

Asked Guids about it and he said it might be either a virus or hardware problems. I think it’s the latter. Coz the power’s been going on and off the past few days so it might have done some irrevocable damage on my beloved Gen-chan.

But I have this other theory that it might be the infernal heat. Could be. Aren’t computers supposed to be easily affected by temperature?

So while I’m typing this, I have the air conditioning on full and so far, my beloved Genchan has yet to reboot himself.

Anyway, that’s not really what I wanted to talk about.

I was just typing this morning about the guild I feel so much gratitude and growing loyalty for, right? They were nice people and all… but something just happened. Or I just discovered that I’m not anymore part of that guild. I was this afternoon, but now I’m not.

What gives? Glitch? An error? Did I do something that made them expel me?

I’m curious.

And the fact that I’m not getting any response from any of the guild members is making me feel really pissed off. I can’t whisper to any of my friends either. I can broadcast what I wanna say but apparently, that command, whispering, is not available to me.

I wanna know the reason why I’m no longer part of the guild. Why? Well, even though I don’t really wanna admit it, but I feel somewhat heartbroken and suddenly very alone in the pRO world without my guild members. They were just so nice… and I wanted to get stronger so that I could contribute to them, add to their strength, be someone they could be proud of. I guess I can no longer do that if I’m not part of the guild. Shit… oh well… back to being just me. But I had a good feeling about those people. Darn…

***

III (September 5, 2003)

Goodbye Genrou II and welcome Genrou III ^_^

If you haven’t heard, my trusty computer, Genrou, crashed. Busted motherboard, video card, and since the processor was somewhat out of date, I had it also replaced. Along with a 40 gig harddisk, a cd writer, and 256 RAM. Naninibago ako kasi ang dami ko ng nilagay na programs at bagong mp3s pero dami pa ring free space. As in. Nanghihinayang lang ako dun sa mga wallpapers ko. Wasn’t able to tell them to save those too. At least my anime/jpop/jrock mp3s were saved.

***


IV (September 08, 2003)

Well, turns out that I wasn’t taken off the guild. Whew! Just pRO programming going haywire yet again. Gods, good thing di pa ako nahahack. I hope never.

Anyways, the lovely thing about having this guild membership deal is that marami akong possible tanks. Hahaha!!! After one week of not playing I still jumped from level 51 to 53 in one day all thanks to the help of my guildmates. Well, it’s for their own good naman that they want me to attain my second job coz that way I can finally contribute to the guild. Kasi halos pareho lang kami ng level nung isang knightess pero sya knightess na at ako swordess pa lang. Need around 50% more job exp before I can apply for knighthood. That’s very near na.

Still haven’t been able to play with Ana’s nephew. I keep trying to whisper him every few hours pero wala talaga. Oh well.

***


V (September 11, 2003)

Been meaning to post in the blog but whenever I go online, I completely forget about doing it.

Below’s a poem. Dunno if it’s worth anything… just had to get it off my system yesterday. Couldn’t concentrate on my classes coz I kept searching for the right words to use:


Reset

“I died again,” and you laughed, looking
At my computer screen where my corpse
Was still surrounded by nocturnal knights
Who dealt me the mortal blow.

“I told you not to go there,” you say,
Still chuckling at my demise.
Then going back to your own screen
Where you valiantly trot around town, safe.

“I thought you were with me,” say I,
Still wounded at the callousness you showed
Unbelievingly staring while you talk to another,
A character sitting on bench, asking for her number.

“You left me behind,” you say shrugging.
And I realized, as I stare at your profile,
How futile my argument was, and so
I press the ESC button and left clicked

Re-spawning back to town.
My character again living and walking amidst the crowd.
As though life hadn’t ended. Now I can’t help but
Wish I could do the same in real life.



It doesn’t rhyme. I find writing poems that rhyme hard to write. And slightly silly. Those I write anyway.

By the way, I’m a knight now. Finally.